Alone
Alone with nothing but thoughts
Alone in this room
Alone in this car
Alone in this crowd of people
I am alone with the thoughts of us
Going over and over and over again
Trying to find where things went wrong
Trying to find where everything fell apart
Trying to find the moment I lost
When I lost the only thing that mattered
When I stopped making her happy
When it ended
So I lay here
So I write
So I think
So I apologize more times than she knows
So I pray
So I think
So I wish
So I dream of every little moment we had together and every moment we should of had
...
She asked me to be more open
She wanted to know everything about me
She would of been scared by my darkest secret
She would of looked at me differently
She would of run away and hid
...
It's just like before
It's just like the last time
The last time I was truly alone
I could scream to the world and they still wouldn't hear me
I could cry for help and no one would come
So I lie here with my thoughts
Wondering if it should of ended the last time
If I should be gone by now
Wondering why I'm still here
If God has a reason
I scream out my thoughts and there is no response but silence
I'm beginning to lose myself
Beginning to question myself
Beginning to feel the dark inside myself
That deep power that I held beneath for so long
The part of me I never wanted her to see
The part of me who fears nothing
The part of me the world would make a demon out of
It's just like last time
My inner demon wants it to be the last time
But I have hope
Hope from somewhere unknown
Hope from the tiniest memory of the way her eyes looked at me
Hope that there is a chance
Hope that the darkness can stay deep
Hope that she would understand why I couldn't tell her
Hope
Hope is the last thing this tortured soul has
Hope is strongest thing this tortured soul has