Sep 2015
When I read books or watch the way couples are with each other, especially those who have strong tensions and "unhealthy" co-dependencies, I can't help but think "I know you didn't mean it".
I love being able to blame the fact that we were so young and we didn't know any better. It makes me feel better about my relationship now. Before my love was unrequited but this boy just waited, patiently, for 3 months. And we grew, and we changed, in good ways, and now I see him in a better light.
Don't get me wrong. I won't be with him past August, but now I know what a healthy relationship is. I know what unconditional support means. In my darkest hours he stood beside me. In our most confusing nights, we stayed awake together and talked. When he needed me to listen instead of being like a mother, I learned how to do it. Because we love each other.
But we could never have done that...with full, unwavering, pure, good intentions....Not because we didn't love each other, we very much did, but we didn't know how to do that then. I didn't know how to do that then.
I love being able to blame the fact that we were so young and we didn't know any better. It makes me feel better about my relationship now. Before my love was unrequited but this boy just waited, patiently, for 3 months. And we grew, and we changed, in good ways, and now I see him in a better light.
Don't get me wrong. I won't be with him past August, but now I know what a healthy relationship is. I know what unconditional support means. In my darkest hours he stood beside me. In our most confusing nights, we stayed awake together and talked. When he needed me to listen instead of being like a mother, I learned how to do it. Because we love each other.
But we could never have done that...with full, unwavering, pure, good intentions....Not because we didn't love each other, we very much did, but we didn't know how to do that then. I didn't know how to do that then.
