i'm not quite sure why i am upset i'm not quite sure how my brain works all i know is that last week i was jumping up and down to contain my excitement and a couple of days ago i couldn't stop smiling and yesterday i laughed a lot and this afternoon i had this strange tingly feeling in my stomach that i'm not used to but it felt right and i wanted it to last but i guess happiness doesn't really last because the tingly feeling changed into this gaping hole in my stomach and i have been trying to scratch my skin open and not think of it i really really tried and i don't know why i am upset i only know that i just want to feel anything but what i'm feeling right now.