I don't know whether I'm numb or accustomed to this feeling,
With time is it steeling?
What I should feel,
But then why shouldn't it steal,
This dreadful feeling,
That takes away from living,
But also takes away what I feel,
Should it continue to take the wheel?
Or ignore this feeling-once and for all,
Even tho I'm still affected by its call,
To ignite a fire in me,
That nobody can see,
Except for in my poetry,
Will I just let this feeling go,
To no longer feel that blow,
That ignites the flame,
And puts me to shame,
That feeling just always comes,
And me it almost always stuns,
Cause how could one get used to,
A feeling you feel abused to,
No matter what I choose-it'll always be present,
It's whether or not I chose to resent it,
And whether or not I feel it,
Is not always up to me,
You see,
It hurts me more than I'd like to admit...
     ....That **** jealousy...