Have you a friend,
A really tight chump,
As tight as words on paper,
Or the air of a grunt,
The color in amber,
Or the lines
Of adjoing wall-paper?
His money's still green,
He's cheap to extremes,
If you got one
You know what I mean.
He's a penny-pinching
Miserable miser.

Yet he eats out more,
Does the Florida tour;
But sits bowling my pipe,
Enjoying my wine,
Never to think
To return in kind.
He's a skin-flint
Tight-assed Marner.