I can't decide who I was
when I let him take the worst of me,
and bring it out for everyone to see.
He had my soul, and threw it
into the icy waters of Lake Ontario.
It has never been found,
not on the shores of the South Carolina sea,
not in the open palms of the past charmed;
not in the pieces he left behind
for me to quarantine in
the darkest part of my mind.

I may never find that soul again.