blood or strawberry syrup,
i feast on my gore, my waste,
my crime. i swallowed God
and purged him up.
i starved myself to heaven’s gates
but couldn't fit through the bars,
thick with sin, putrid and heavy.
i fell to the earth.

aspartame heartbeat,
cardiac arrested, imprisoned,
no way out.
i became the wound i created,
let it grow, let it fester and rot
with a coat of sugar and cinnamon.
my pain is full of calories,
so i purged that too.

true love is an execution,
a sacrifice, careful and divine.
my candied crucifixion,
holy libation to a lonely tyrant.
i made a mess, binged
into oblivion, emptiness.
it is not romantic,
but it is something.