And I never told Mum
Gaping blonde, **** and teeth
***
He'd won
I'd never tell, not now, not then,
not anyone.

He asked if I wanted to see his "wake-up call"
I was to young to understand the pull of
the nakedness of women
Didn't know what I was viewing
Didn't know what he did
For so long I was unaware
Repression's glare
I didn't want to remember

And he was so ashamed
Told me the next day he'd deleted it
Removed the stain on his hard drive, the first ***** photo
etched in my head. What is said
and seen, will always
be recalled

I should be appalled

But I'm haunted instead by the question
What the hell was going on in his head

Instead of anger
Awareness
and dread, because I hate
the way he messed with my
head.