i will never find the one that i need and want. i read too many fantasy books, about love and pain. my expectations are too high... had my home life been okay, i wouldn't have tried to run away through books. once you run away through books it's hard to deal with the reality that: no matter how flawed the characters in your books are, the people in this world will never be as perfect. i will never find the one that i need and want, my expectations are too high, but for now i can blow this off through school work and reading more. but one day it will catch up to me, and i will realize that i am old and alone, and i will die that way, broken and sad and, lonely.