As I wake up in the morning
Eyes still shut
Sun beaming on my face through the window
Birds chirping

I wonder what to tell my father in my suicide note

People say his name with such ease
But his name is like a two foot dagger
And every time they call him a friend
It’s another twist into my spine breaking me apart one vertebrae at a time

I wish I could tell you what’s really on my mind
I wish I could open up and spill all the secrets held within this twenty years of life
But there’s nothing I could say to make you care
There’s nothing I could possibly say that would make you want to listen
So I will stay silent
Because I know that’s what you truly want

I just wish you knew how much this silence is killing me
How much these secrets are killing me
Like a two foot dagger into my back is killing me
Pushing me
Closer
Closer
To finding out what to say to my father in my suicide note