Can't breathe, can't breathe
Panic attack every night about
"My Future"
This is the year I'm supposed to decide
How can I decide, I'm a child
Yes, I'm on half a dozen committees
Yes, I'm in numerous organizations
I understand that it's an honor, privilege
But how can you call me mature
Or mistake me for older
When I am the same little girl clueless, lost
Broken
Rocking herself back and forth, crying
Late at night or early in the morning
GPA, ha, that 4.0 is history
Goodbye top tenth national percentile
I don't know how I came to this
I used to be my mask
Before I gutted myself
And became a shell
I used to be this giggly, silly, shy girl with a loud mouth
Who had immaculate grades and had no difficulty
Ignoring all her problems
She snapped when she woke up to her world
Could see the damage
Understood the blows
In her time of desperate need
Where did her skinny kid or Two A.M. go
She lost them to love and a lie
Another lie, this one more transparent than the first
She clung to like a child swinging from monkey bars
Trying to catch up when he yelled, "Tag, you're it"
It they called her, because wasn't it funny
To sit down in class and have the three girls adjacent to her
Raise their hands and request to be moved away from the "freak"
Really you all make me so happy to be here
Okay, so there are a few who love me
They are here when they can be
But too often I feel you don't understand
Or that I'm a bother
Can't breathe, can't breathe
Panic attack over nothing and everything
He is the only one who helps
I feel loved and I don't feel so alone