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I’m told I should chase my dreams,
That I’d be happier that way.
They’ve never left my head,
I cling to them like caffeine,
And yet they lead me astray.
Which ones do I chase? Each one is a book in a library that hasn’t been sorted and never go further than 100 pages.
I
Just
Want
To
Bleed
But
I
Find
Myself
Great
At
Not
Repeating
Mis­takes.

Sometimes
It
Hurts
To
Leave
The
Blade
Alone,
But
I’m
Bett­er
Off
Without
It.

Wouldn’t
Want
Anybody
To
Be
Suspicious
Of
Me,­
And
Try
To
Pry
Their
Way
In
Like
Last
Time.

I’m
Better
Off
Leav­ing
My
Turmoil
Isolated
From
People
Who
Would
Mock
Me
And
Claim
T­o
Help.
They mock me with or without blood.
I’ve made so many mistakes.
Half of my memories are regret,
The other half is what could have been.

This rope I’ve been traversing
Was once a wide plank.
The safety net is shrouded in fog,
As well as my destination.

For once, I am powerless,
I have no control over my fate,
And I don’t know how to fix this mess I’ve made.
The only thing I never understood about humanity
Is our cruelty and brutality towards each other.

We create problems where there shouldn't be any
Because that actor is black, ***, trans, etc.
Playing a role that was originally white.

They made a problem as though
Skin color actually matters in a children's story,
As though its okay to dehumanize
Based on such petty things alone.

We don't get to choose skin color.
We don't get to choose orientation.
We don't choose the conditions of our existence,
And they don't determine our worth.
I don't understand why we can't just love and help each other. Perhaps its for greed, fear, or attention?
Gavin Barnard Jun 29
Going home seems like a mere dream.

This headache hasn’t let up in ages.

The radio is half static and half old music.

Only three hours left to go until vacation.
At least we get air conditioning.
Freedom.

True Freedom.

There's no such thing.

Even if we had no laws,
We'd still be under the dogma of society,
And without society
We'd still be limited by our core needs.

Being human,
Being physical,
Is limiting.

Such limits don't exist in our imaginations,
Yet people wonder why I often drift off into space.

Time doesn't exist there,
There's no rules to break,
No condescending eyes to judge,
Or narcissistic mouths to boast.

What's not to love?
Gavin Barnard May 20
Lazy, huh?
Is that what you call everyone
Who doesn’t care for motorsports
Smalltalk, alcohol or bonfires?

When was the last time
You’ve read a book?
Is it right for me to call you stupid
Based on the disrespect you’ve shown me?

Honestly, all you do after work
Is watch tv and get high,
Yet I’m the lazy one?
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