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Robert Carroll Spear
Poems
Jan 2015
Company of airports.
Those saying they gave all gave nothing.
No one knows she's crying for me.
With trashhbags spilling from their pockets, the children weep as the men enter their silent temple.
With potatoes in their hands and bricks on their heads, the women wait for the husbands.
As priests they exit. All normal patterns again.
I will separate these teeth from your heart as you scan my newest story.
I've lost your wonder. Why everything is the same as it was remains a mystery.
Why these eyes, this heart of mine, why not hers?
Hate simmers. Nothing cooks below.
One more tin of cream. One more song repressed. A wife with her matchbook terrors. Skin pale, coupons clipped to save heart the extraneous cost.
Out of the door the lesbians begin their drinking games.
Smile of mine tell me more meets the eye. Look at the hearts and the pressing of its meats.
Rearrange the peelings.
Masculinity transmits over the air. I use this time to soften my bellly.
The noose catches fire. His tears dousing the freedom.
First date at theater. Curtain call, begin Love's Final Act.
The death of you in pieces against rocks.
Reading for signs of traumatized marrow assuming it is not.
Warnings of obsession and secrecy as I pollute the sabretooth's mouth.
My vacation shortened. Flying and seeing the dreams of next time whipping past.
Coarse hair on my tongue. Trails of you when I speak.
When will you fade? Love is dead. Let it pass.
The figure and the ridge shake me. Alone counting how the years have not healed this scar.
A day. And then a night erased from memory.
While he speaks I'm told to stop sending letters.
May the lines become thinner. The hush universal.
A quiet time. Seen in the sun for the first time.
Continue reading of deeds snared by Karma.
Restore yourself for my benefit.
And so this is the poison she poured into my ears:
whisper whisper kiss.
Of the poison what is there holding the vials together?
Machine cut squares knowing the curves of her *******.
Pressed, brushed to perfection. Where is the warmth beyond the warmth?
Not the glow of nocturnal furnaces. The pressing of skin to the belly of coals.
Only a mask hiding tears from the public eye.
It is what you seek.
Ignite me and marvel alone.
Explain my scars to me in final excitement.
On one shoulder I collect the rain. My other brings the spillings. The pool at my feet dries, gathers flies.
My eyes never closed. My muscles began to shiver and this is all that can be said of last year.
This year will be dosed heavy with dreams.
The telephones will soon empty thief wife's of our conversations.
New dust and **** will cover the bricks our hands feathered over.
Plates we consumed our dreams on will break, become clean and discarded with the closing of cafe doors.
You dying and older. Increasing desire. Your basket full of fruit. Your soil toiled in the night. Roots taken, their precious hollows filled.
Damaged Boardwalk. Mussels cracked, pearl less by design or circumstance.
Fake both hope and love. Slip away in the pilings of some Ferrari.
The ash of your candle. Where is it now?
So close to the sea. Yet these stains remain.
Burn or transgress. Your stones sink in my heart.
An open letter since birth.
The barge floats. The operators celebrate the river's damming.
May you hear my tears in your happy silence.
Just a leaf in the sidewalk. Talks of saplings vanished in the processing.
Here together in the colder air.
Forgetful muse, run. Steal their wrestling's warmth.
The swell beckons. We've yet to share this drink.
Taste yourself on this raw plate. Fight and move away mediocrity.
Few lover's sons left.
Pick your battles from the bag with your boots and that picture of the lion escaping its cage whilst I fell into yours.
Is there anything else or is this less than what you wanted?
Rude for noting your thinning soles and the leather's scars.
Hard to consider compensation for this blood you've been given. Diseased congealing life force.
Awake and celebrating with me the people you've left. On this shore, this glimpse of Hell.
Tossing and turning farther away from refuge.
Mildewing pamphlets of my red and white memories. All the paintings we're without.
Hack off my feet and keep me close. I float. Your hauntings with delusions of bliss.
This is foolish, my pride in the envelope and later the shells.
Every beacon a reminder to swim farther. Sirens witness my solace.
Choking back wallows and whispers.
May Neptune weep as I fail in his righteousness.
Into God's own heart I nestle. Finding rest eternally.
Young Dracula, stop circling and take me.
*******.
#tragedy
Written by
Robert Carroll Spear
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