I will bottle it up
And ***** the lid on tight
Bite my fingernails to oblivion
And slow dance to death
I can't help it
Every once in a while
It hurts like a new type of pain I've never felt before
And pushes me deeper into the pits of hell
I just want to lay down
And watch the cloud of smoke make a sky above my head
I want to fly away
But I run instead
Turn around and pretend it never happened
I practice stopping my heart beating in my chest
Paralyse my limbs from the toes upwards
Hold my breath and count to ten
Twirl like a madman until I'm dizzy and sick
I want to walk forever
Just me and the music
Let the cold take me
Numb and blue
I don't belong here
I don't know what I'm doing
In my head is where God lives
He has angels and they'll come to visit
I'm grieving for the sun
That does not miss me
I'm dying to be burned by its embers