I catch myself holding my breath
Like I'm subconsciously
Giving up
I make myself breath again
Heartbeat slows back to normal
Just to ease the burning in my lungs
And the ache in my mind
A small shard of doubt
Nestles in between
A crack
Growing in my mind

When I don't think about it
When I'm occupied with other things
I find myself growing dizzy
And force a breath
Through my clenched teath