you are fog over midnight water
and i am just a sailor's daughter
with a crippling fear of drowning
and a proneness to playing sink or swim.

m.f.

i miss the old wooden swing in my backyard
where i used to sit and think and write for hours

i miss being lazy on the living room couch
and watching cartoons with my youngest brother

i miss sitting in my room, hearing footsteps from the floor above
and being able to know exactly whose they were

i miss waking up late on saturday mornings
to the smell of breakfast cooking in the kitchen

i miss being able to tell my little sister she looks pretty
every morning before she goes off to school

i miss sitting on my mother's bedroom floor
and listening to her tell stories about Tennessee

i miss hearing my father constantly whistle and sing
while he walked around the house doing different things

i miss living four minutes away from my best friend
and sleeping at her house for days just because i could

i miss talking to my brothers at 2 o'clock in the morning
about absolutely nothing and positively everything

i miss taking pictures of my backyard, even though nothing
about it has really changed in the past twelve years

but i think that i miss home the most at mealtimes

- m.f.

In deep sleep, her  anguished voice rings a bell in my brain,
hear the screams of a woman in my blood stream,
hallucination, I loved to believe,  but then it became more frequent
at night, she whispers, her intimate secrets, without shame
in to my ears, in a seductive voice.Do I like it? she snickers
I got used to it's persuasive lilt, sometimes it  sounds like a complaint.
If I turn a deaf ear, she knows how to make me listen
Then I am all ears; become her single, faithful, captive listener.
She questions me sometimes"Tell me what you know about ***?"
I go and learn the fundas on the female of the spices,
in detail, pass the test,
wonder, how little I know about her as a person. Isn't she my counterpart?
She talks about the curtain of ignorance, that still segregates  her from him
and chides me "Will you be complete, if I didn't wake you up"

in the winter i met a boy
who lied about his love for me,
who hit me
never knowing why
and still, he said:
"i'm only doing this because i love you"
he left bruises on my arm
and scars on my wrists,
he always made fun of my
weight.
he never failed to say: "i love you"
with his mouth full of lies.
it has gotten so bad
to the point where i started
believing that
i deserved all he was doing to me

in summer, i met a boy
who treated me like a princess
he bought me nice things,
wrote me letters
he took the pain
a w a y
my parents approved of him,
my friends did too
he kisses like the devil
while keeping all of my demons
away
my friends told me
keep him. stay.
now i know
i deserved
more
than the boy i met in the winter
-b.m

You will not tame this sea
either by humility or rapture.
But you can laugh
in its face.

Laughter
was invented by those
who live briefly
as a burst of laughter.

The eternal sea
will never learn to laugh.