I feel embarrassed..
Should I feel embarrassed?
I let him do all these things.
I let him and i regret it.
I learned.
I learned to respect myself.

I knew there was something wrong.
I knew it from the start.
I felt bad, so I let him in my life.
Something happened.
I knew it was going to happen.
I regret everything, all because I was too nice.

I can’t sleep.
My mind stays awake, just talking and talking and talking, and talking!
She talks about everything, she talks about the past, the present, the future.
She says shes still in pain from the past, She says shes scared about what might happen later, she says the only goal in life is to leave home, but the thing is.. She doesn’t know what to do after.
She’s agitated, anxious, awoken.
The thoughts in my head keep me awake.
She doesn't want to stop talking, maybe she wants to talk to someone about those thoughts?
My teacher once told me, “If you have a lot of thoughts in your head and you cant sleep.. Then visualize a box. Pretend your putting your thoughts in that box. Then visualize you closing the box and locking it”
I tried it.. It worked. But that was a year ago.
And it got worse..my thoughts just end up overflowing, spilling everywhere, I start quickly picking them up to put it inside the box but they jump right out.
So.. I’m just there.
You know, looking at the ceiling, pretending there's stars.
I slowly close my eyes and try to fall asleep with my mind chattering keeping me awake.

Grey clouds with a dark blue Greyish sky. Is it raining? No. As tears roll down my face. Where is everyone? “They left” someone whispered. I walked home. Alone.

Then one day butterfly’s were swarming around, white clouds with a big bright sun. Holding hands, smiling with happiness. Warm kisses. “I love you” He whispered. We walked home. Together.

I sat down on the table. I placed my art book and my pencil on the table. I grab my phone and I played music. As I draw while listening to music I felt goosebumps, I felt shivers down my spine, I felt cold, I felt sad, I felt.. alone..

I felt butterflies but bad ones.

I stood there waiting for my friends, but.. no one came.
It’s okay I said
Maybe their all really busy!
Next day at school I walked around by myself feeling isolated. I just talked to myself, I didn’t talk to anyone else.
I ate lunch by myself.
I walked to class by myself.
I talked to myself.
I hung out with myself.
I did everything by myself.
I realized I’m always going to be there for myself and no one else is..