The landscape seems bleak and life has turned grey. All that could possibly go wrong has come to pass. No good news can be found, only despair and destruction. Where does hope lie and where has compassion fled to. Life has become a daily grind and no promised are being kept. The shining city on the hill has grown dim. I look at my own reflection and see the worry lines that have caught up with me. I wonder how much longer before time just stands still. In the ever present fear of tragedy, I and others like me live out this play. We walk through the gloomy landscape and ponder why is it so dark today.

Take a Carney ride
at high noon,
or at midnight sky
under the moon.

The moonlight says
that night is a good deal
And the night said: the moon knows
that we are here to pack a wallop.

But the stars ignore the moon's stolen light,
knowing that they will all turn too soon turn to dust.

The stars spend
wonderfully wistful hours
wondering if the only reason that time exists
is so everything doesn't happen at once.

Then, all at once, they are able to leave well enough alone.

Although you attempt to jab me
In passive backless form through
Exclusion and cruel bliss
I must remember...
this is all yours
Your ****, your insecurity, and your madness
It's your toxicity to wade through
Your shins laddened with black tar
Your words laced in spite
Your pulse can have a rhythm of vengeance
But I, I will stand firm and know
This is not mine to absorb
I zip myself up in thick skin
And know
I am confident and lovely and hilarious
I am beautiful and adventurous and stimulating
I am intelligent and courageous and healing
and I don't have to succumb to your demented seventeen year old white girl bully *******.

.
                                     D
                             e     e l       e
                           l        i  c         l
                         c         ou           c
                        o           s             o
                        u        D  e           u
                         s       l      i          s
                          D      c    o      ­  D
                            e      u s         e
                              l      ~        l
               ­                       i
                                      c

I keep it locked deep inside of me. I seldom let it speak. When it does it confuses me. It screams at me and rages for no reason at all. I keep it locked away deep inside of me. I smile politely to most people when the voice inside me wants to scream obscenities at them. I do not know why it does, I just no I can't let it out. It warns me when I am being stupid, but I seldom listen. It tries to get me to do things I do not want to do, but it says are fun. I keep up appearances, but I grow tired of putting on a show. I keep it locked up deep inside of me, but my inner voice is clawing its way out.

Running away from my fears, I crawl deep inside of myself, only to be confronted with conscience. I am forced to deal with what I have locked away. It terrifies me and I look for another place to hide. In plain sight I look for ways to avoid having the conversation with myself. Try as I might, the voices inside of me, won't let me avoid the confrontation. So I use what ever I can to distract myself in order to escape confronting my own demons that have been demanding resolution for so long.