I thought and thought
I hoped and believed
I cried and mourned
I screamed and laughed

Then I realised it was passion.

My gorgeous
Every moment with you
Crazy for you
The fluff of your paw
Touches my soul
You gnaw at my heart
Endless days
Shortened nights
Awaken to the mystery of life
Picasso book
"Art Can Only be ******"
Chewed
My babe forgiven all
You daze into my eyes
Lips so soft
I am insane for you
Our affection entwined
You lay on my chest
I feel every breath

And I realise it's Passion

Forever crazy for you

I sit here alone
wondering where my life is
where it all went wrong
despair haunts me
how I got involved
why I lost what love is

The days go on
just one at a time
waiting for the
goodbye to all the anxiety
to anger with myself
for surely I have suffered enough
through all these months

left unprotected
so lost
lost by your embrace
haunted by your words
I search around everywhere
for the passion and hopes of life
searching for the day chaos
no longer in my head
perhaps I won't feel so lost

I feel I am finding my way

Then

I want to scream..all I want to do is scream
I want my anger to go away
but its like a blazing flame
I want my despair to leave me
but I am drowning in pain
I want my sanity back
but I don't know where to find it

I created a ray to save the world.
We had come too far,
had lost ourselves, it seemed to me
and we were taking the Earth along with us
into the abyss.

Too much knowledge: too much thought.
We needed to go back.
And so I created the Great Devolver Ray
and stood, trembling, by the trigger.

This would return us
to our basest animal selves.
Would tune us perfectly into Nature,
re-thread us into the fabric of Creation
destroy the wall between Natural and Unnatural.

Pure uncorrupted survival: nothing more.

And so I stood, on the brink,
unsure as all great revolutionaries must be,
put my hand in place,
and pushed.

And the ray burst forth
and we were transformed
into the pure ******* creatures that Life demanded.

And absolutely nothing changed
at all.

Its mornings like this,
when I wake up and the skies are black,
when the rain streams from the sky and thunder shakes the earth,
that I feel the heart wrenching ache of loneliness.

I miss the arms that used to snake around my waist at 3:30 in the morning after a terrifying nightmare
and the warm body that pressed snugly into mine during winter.

How you would lean into my neck
breathe me in like a summer wine,
and then sigh.
I miss the tear that occasionally fell to my cheek from your eyes,
when the thought of losing me crossed your mind.

How your fingers would suddenly intertwine with mine at the strangest of times
and you would look at me, not a word was uttered,
you said it all with your eyes.

The way you held me when we kissed,
the way you played with my hair,
the taste of your smile,
your sea green eyes,
your laugh,
the feel of your skin.

Your heartbeat in synchronization with mine.

I miss the colour in my life, the colour of you.