Dear daddy,
there's a box full of letters under my bed
I wrote them to you but kept them in my head
For reasons a little more than "left unsaid"
No, I can't communicate with the dead
Paper doesn't reply
And if it could,
It wouldn't compare to the conversations between you and I
You were inspiring and wonderful
Did you know that, daddy?
You were brave so that we were comfortable
In a house with safety that still survives
To me, you've never died
And every time I say that you have,
I feel that I've lied
In my dreams, you're still real
A body I can hug,
A person I can feel
But when I wake up,
you are gone again
And I'm struggling...I am
Because I lost my best friend
We were getting closer, weren't we?
Things were getting better, weren't they?
I know everything happens for a reason,
or at least that's what they say
But I can't find a reason to take a man's life
Though I can find a reason to use this knife...
But I'm stronger than that, and maybe that's why
Good people must go, even the best must die
I might've lost my dad, but I won't lose this fight

Dear daddy, you should know that I'm much stronger now
I'm falling apart but I stand tall somehow
And it hurts every day, and we all still cry
But you had to go, and even though I don't know why
I know that there's a reason behind your leaving
I know that there's a reason I was the one to find you'd stopped breathing
I know there's a reason for October 15th
I know I don't know that reason,
But I'm getting closer, I think.

I trace
running rivers
with my feet,
around corners
and pockets
of rocks

I am
seeking you,
like a child
will endlessly
wait, watching
clouds turn into
faces that
they recognise

under the sun,
my body burns
without you,
against barren
wastelands and
scorched earth,
I pound, foot
fall, after foot
fall, racing rivers
to reach you
first

If an apparition is all the gods have called me to be,
then I will grit my teeth and scream my way into eternity.

Unleashing words that few care to hear and tingles up your spine that some might think to be a strange and mysterious fear.
Being used to falling in the dirt can cause a dangerous smile to cross your lips
and most don't expect what they find if they take a peak inside.
Don't blink because I might be gone and the ones who light a lantern to search for me in the dark are the only ones worth singing to.

If I hide, who will search for me?
If I sink, who will swim with me?
If I fall, will you try to catch me?

Light a lantern if you care because I am always partly fading away...

Your smile is always present
Yet your eyes are bleak
You step with merry stride
Yet no words do you speak
You long for more attention
Yet attention makes you weak

Speak up about your troubles
Your worries and your fears
For keeping it bottled inside
Will lengthen you in years

Speak up about your doubt
The trials, the hurt and pain
For you'll find those who care
Will bring you back to sane

Speak up about your failure
The rise, the climb and fall
For even if it pertains to you
It has been a part of us all

And if i choose you
id be choosing the type of happiness
that comes with the cost of pain
but id choose you forever
again, again and again