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My parents spent so much money
and so much time
on swimming lessons when I was young.
I think they would be disappointed to know
that after 10 years of lessons,
I'm drowning
with 2 feet planted firmly on solid ground.
somewhere i have never travelled, gladly beyond
any experience,your eyes have their silence:
in your most frail gesture are things which enclose me,
or which i cannot touch because they are too near

your slightest look easily will unclose me
though i have closed myself as fingers,
you open always petal by petal myself as Spring opens
(touching skilfully,mysteriously)her first rose

or if your wish be to close me, i and
my life will shut very beautifully ,suddenly,
as when the heart of this flower imagines
the snow carefully everywhere descending;

nothing which we are to perceive in this world equals
the power of your intense fragility:whose texture
compels me with the color of its countries,
rendering death and forever with each breathing

(i do not know what it is about you that closes
and opens;only something in me understands
the voice of your eyes is deeper than all roses)
nobody,not even the rain,has such small hands
Lie to yourself
and say everything will be okay

Then,
cry your eyes out...
till night fades to day.

And though the sun rises,
it's still dark...
for you have an unfixable heart.

Broken by so many people along the way
living this life...
making you not want to stay.
wrote this ****** last night when I was down. Felt a lot better afterward:)
NO.
The tears on my keyboard
bespeak the pain
that is in my heart

I can't write research papers
about books
I can only read books

and besides
poems.
are the best kind of writing
10 PAGE RESEARCH PAPERS ****
I am wrapped in a firm squeeze.

This cocoon is tight! (so tight)

I fight to find comfortability.

(Restless) in this nest.

This Transitioning is hurting me! (tears)

Questioning the worth of these wings,

can I sustain this agony?

If I stop fighting,

will this squeeze be lighten? (maybe)

waiting... waiting... waiting

Patiently,

Until, this cocoon cracks and exposes my wings.


~ButterFly εїз 2013©
"There are no words to describe how beautiful she is,
or how special she is, or my love for her.
To put these things into words would be to define them,
To quantify them, which means to limit them.
There would be a beginning and an end.
There is no definition fitting, nor any limit,
nor beginning or end to her beauty,
or to how special she is, or my love for her.
my love for her."
I’ve been swimming in a school of fish
Spent the last thirteen years growing gills,
always swimming in the same direction,
The name of the game is simply ‘keep up.’

I’m nineteen years old and I may not be the smartest fish in the sea,
but Ive always dreamed of the surface,
Envied the skipping stones who make ripples with their freedom.  
Swimming in follow the leader formation isn’t easy when the the leader wants you to lose,
And it never could have prepared us
for the tsunami they called graduation, we ended up on land
And it turns out all along we needed lungs
Because the name of the game was ‘survive.’

Feel your scales cracking, gills gasping,
We were released without the skills we needed
Those who were here before us are willing to tax
Our lack of understanding,
demonstrating that if you pull a fish backward
His gills will fill with the water he has always trusted,
he will die.
They will serve him up, they call it Legal Sea Foods for a reason.

The rest of us are stranded,
Drying in the sand we used to dream of,
gasping for waves, looking to rely on the
very opportunities that betrayed us.

It’s almost as if theres a neon sign above us
A sign that reads ‘you are here.’
You are here and you cannot leave.
They taught you how to swim and how to follow
And fish don’t really sleep but they told you
Dream, Dream, Dream!
You are here and you cannot leave,
They told you you could walk
But they never taught you how to breathe.
a couple days ago
i tried to **** myself
by ingesting a handful of
different pretty pills
in the hopes
they'd make me
a pretty corpse
i thought maybe
they'd plant roots
in my stomach
and grow flowers
out of my eye sockets
but then i realized
those pretty pills
would ****
not only me
but the ones who already
saw flowers growing
in the darkest parts
of me
Pathetic words came out
Right out from your mouth
Orally distracting
Mentally sickening
Inquisitive I became
Sadly I'm drowned
Enchanted I guess with your
S**tupid words that weren't bless.


a.b
there are worse things than
being alone
but it often takes decades
to realize this
and most often
when you do
it's too late
and there's nothing worse
than
too late.
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