distance between us
so close
yet we are light years apart
with galaxies between you and i
how did we get here you wonder?
what did you expect, my love?
how far could we go
with melancholy as our common ground
we had gone through this hadn't we
how you'd remember me
as the one who tried,
your sweet leaf
this monalisa smile,does it still haunt you?
tell me
will you be waiting for me on the other side?
for i wish to meet you
some other time
when i won't be just a bridge to your past
and you would learn to live with yourself
in some other land
where the eagles don't flutter
and where there will be no peacocks dancing in the rain
we can call it our heaven
where the rain brings solace and is less of a burden
but till then
I hope you write about me some
And when you do
I hope it will not be all bitter
and till then
I'll be here in this purgatory of intersection
reminiscing you through our songs

I say lumos hoping the darkness in my life would fade
I say reparo to see if my broken heart could mend
I say alohomora wishing all the doors would open
I wish there was any spell that could fix my heart that has been broken

I see the dementors,they are everywhere.
They want to kiss away all my happiness
I scream expecto patronum wishing they would disappear
But they are still here, guess my soul will never repair

I  scream crucio to feel the pain, but I am numb
I say imperio to take control of my life but it all seems so dumb
'Avada kedavara' I screamed to **** this feel
But guess my pain has no heal

you've been lied to, you've been cheated
you've been hurt, you've been disgraced
you've been leftout,you've been accused
you're heart was stolen and then abused

you have cuts, you have bruises
your heart was ripped into pieces
it was burned, lit up into flames
you're done and you're sick of the games

but one day you'll love again
let go of all the pain
you'll find yourself dancing in the rain
with no guilt, no shame

someone is there who can wait for you forever
who'll never give up on you, not even in cold and fever
I know my friend its hard for you to trust
But  belive me you'll find love that has been lost

i was lost,
trying to find myself
somewhere in middle,
i found you
drenched and soaked in my self loathe
you were warm
i found you
you had me
but i lost you
but i have you
but then i dont
with a blink of an eye it's real
with a sigh of a breath, you are gone
like a mirage in the dessert
i saw you
i found you
i had you
but i didnt

I loved you
not for the things you were but for the things you made me feel

cracked lips
shadows under her eyes
messy hair
her hands between her thighs
it was then, when he looked at her closely, he realized how real she was.  he took her face in his hands
looked her into the eyes and knew he  wouldnt change a thing

the best kind of love they say is the one without any expectations. loving someone who may never feel the same about you.  love in which you give your everything and ask for nothing in return.most beautiful kind of love but also most painful one. sometimes its damage is irreversible.

I scroll through my news feed
And all I can do is sigh
I wonder why people need ****?
These internet people anyways get me high

She was like coffee, one with a hint of sugar
Just a sip was enough to warm his cold heart
Her smoothing aroma made him drool
He had felt her bitterness in the first sip
But then he knew, she was the best coffee he ever had...

sunsets and sunrise
i look and i think to myself
how something so constant still keeps us  content
then i look at you and it's the same  
you do that to me everyday
you blow my mind every **** time
with your changing hues
saffron red in your veins
that orange glow of your eyes
even your scattering  blues somehow keeps me on my toes
and i don't need to climb mountains and swim rivers to be mesmerized
i'll just be at the horizon, waiting for you

You say you know me, but you don't
Saying you understand, isn't enough
Sometimes I feel like no one understands
But honey, its not your fault or anyone else
At times even I don't recognize the person I see in the mirror

i fell in love with your eyes
the way they shine for the things you truely love
and i cannot tell you how thankful i am, to be one of those things of yours

i let you grow inside me
you grew flowers in my lungs and seeds in my bones
making me feel everything and nothing at once
you lived in me like my own
but little did i knew  
that like a parasite
you were feeding on me
laying eggs on my skin
you took all my self and
poisoned my mind and soul
with your toxin
you called love

they say science has all the answers
but i deny
cause i dont think science can define

how just looking at you can make my heart stop and also make it rush

or how your eyes have trapped me into them like a black hole does

and how your presence can dim the lights

i dont think science can explain

how your love works like gravity, making me fall for you so hard

we all are just so carried away by the idea of falling in love that we are barely aware of the consequences of landing. love can be so strong , stronger than gravity and while falling when some find wings to fly higher,some hit the ground so hard that they stay broken forever

//GODDESS//

my body is not a temple
not holy,not sacred
still i am a goddess
no shimmering gold
i am flesh and bones
still a goddess
you'd still worship me if i was just a stone across the road, wouldn't you?

i am
not just the
warmth of your bed
or the mother of your child
i am not saving myself for you nor am i here to  save you from yourself

my skin is not blue, but i do bleed red
and
so do you
and but you are hurt and i am impure
impure. i am pure
even when i bleed from the place between my legs

so to hell with all those stone buildings i cant enter when i am bleeding so this world that the gods made wouldn't go barren

because
my body IS  a temple
with or without you inside me, doesn't matter
i am still a goddess
still holy, still sacred

He destroys me, I know
But why do I still want him?  
This cant be love but then what is it?    
He is the worst thing ever happened  to me
But still a beautiful misery
 Just like drugs, I crave for him and he's killing me

your mind
beautiful but
out in space
a ticking bomb
and the countdown began when

your eyes
a dry tap with nothing left to be shed
burning red
from the fire in you

your arms
scarred and bruised

your lips
missile pressed in between
ready for you to burn it down

your heart
black and blue
but kind and sacred
despite the sins

whiskey was never so tempting
   it was the magic of her lips
   love was never so alluring
   and when they were finally together
The Universe had Never been Happier

this new year
instead of  "new year,new me"
let's make terms with our old shelves

i filled astrays with cigarette butts
hoping i could smoke you away

turned my lips blue
trying to forget the taste of yours

because the only way i knew i could
fill the void in my heart

was by having one in my lungs

@pt 11/21/16 6:58

one of those days when
i am down and low
sinking into the earth beneath me
the heavy on my heart
drowning me
and you are high above
flying like kite
floating on the clouds
out of your senses, letting loose of your guards
i hope we find each other somewhere in between

and somewhere between those
busy schedules                      
forgotten dates
unanswered calls
skipped dinners
cancelled plans
avoided eye contacts
and
unsaid words

they lost it

and now
two people once in love
are just two strangers
living under the same roof
with nothing but
deafening silence between them

you put on more makeup to hide the circles under your eyes you got by spending all night thinking why the hell didn't we work out?

and he became her favorite poem

kiss me
lick my lips
like a popsicle
i'll paint your tongue
turn it into whatever color you want

kiss me
bite my neck
sink your teeth into my skin
leave sweet bruises
as something for me to remember you in the morning

kiss me
grab my waist
pull me, pull my hair, maybe
push me
and hold me
against you or anything
who cares

hurt me
but love me, well you can try
and tell me
you will atleast, remember my name

i tried

but one afternoon,
when i was lying on the grass,under the sun with his arms around me, i looked into his eyes and had a déjà vu


only then
i realised how they much remind me of you

and how i never really got over you

you got me
caught up in this metaphor
that is life

and

now
i cannot fanthom
what is wrong
and what is right

and

if only i could be honest with you
i would like you to know

that

all these writing that i do
is just a distraction from you

standing at the shore
with the ocean waves
clarity comes and moves away
sometimes
smaller, calmer
washing the mud between my toes
some days
rouge
destroying my sand castles of contentment
leaving me soaked up in more muddle
and on rare days, it brings me shiny pebbles and sea shells, clear enough that I can see my face
pulled and pushed by the moon
that is my heart
new and full at times
I feel it with the spring tides
I try
to hold on
but like the sand on the shore
clarity slips through my fingers
no matter how hard i try and cling on to it
maybe that's the beauty of it
that it demands to be redefined everytime

we often call it love
because it's easier
than
admitting how desperately lonely we are

twenty years is a hell of a long time
yet here i am
caught up in this spiral of  unrequited self love
like a hamster on a wheel.
every day it's the same story
melancholy greets me with an ugly smirk and
crawls up my leg, digs his nails on my skin
and sits on my chest
as  
i lay on my back
heart heavy
my gut swings on a hoo -la-hoop
i feel sick
like i might throw up
in hopes of this being poetry
so any of this would make some sense
but metaphors have abandoned me and my misery
i can't sugarcoat this enough to make it easier
for you to gulp it down your throat
i can't romanticise this enough for this to be another of your #beautifultragedy
but like everything else
i am getting use to this too
and
now
this feels warm, warmth from the burning corpse that is my body
this feels familiar and safe, like my mother's arms
now this feels just like home, broken and wrecked

in this age of instant everything
noodles, coffee and gratification
a generation who has mastered
isolation
practicing social distancing on social media since forever
always on the run
catching trains
rarely catching any breath
you think how many would have prayed for some time for themselves
if only i had time, i'd do this, that and what not
now the world is falling apart
just to leave you with all the time you want