everything that brings me solace ends up suffocating me
my home, my body, my mind, my love and my solitude
with no deadlines, no where to go and no where to be
it's hard to escape the lies you tell yourself
these walls are collapsing on me
it's hard to run away from your thoughts when you are locked down in your house
the if onlys,
the promises you made to yourselves when time was slipping though your fingers
comes haunting you back when you have all the time in the world
but i'm learning
with the world falling part it's just another first world problems
but i'm learning
finding new favorite corners
watering my mother's plants
i'm learning
to be grateful
learning
to live in my father's house
and with myself