Penelope Winter

Penelope Winter Dec 2021

Eclipse

Your kiss, without a warning,
Turns to poison on my lips,
As fervour, white with brilliance,
Into sudden darkness slips,
And morality reveals itself
'Neath verity's eclipse.

- p. winter

Penelope Winter Dec 2021

Chameleon

Some people in the world are simply loved.
By everyone.
And usually they are the people who will become whomever the person in front of them wants them to be.
But even still, they walk through life and know that, whatever happens, they will be fawned over.
And it’s annoying but it’s true.
And they don’t always deserve it.
And sometimes you watch them change right before your eyes and think “how could I ever know which one of you is real?”
Like watching a chameleon change colours so many times you forget what it truly looks like.
But regardless, you fall for the version you get.
Because it is hand crafted for you.
Personalized.
And you wonder how you can be sure you love something so uncertain.
And then you lose it.
And you think… oh.
That’s how.

- p. winter

Brainstorm over for now, I wrote nonstop without thinking for a couple min and now im over it lol.

Penelope Winter Dec 2021

Loving You is a Reflex

*******.
I want to yell and cry and break something when I think about him.
But I accidentally happened upon a photo of him.
And I smiled.
Without thinking, I smiled.
And my first thought was
“There he is. Look at him go.
Look at how he can, just by sitting,
Draw the attention of the world.
As if the sunlight changes direction
Just to keep him from the shadows.”
And then I remembered.
And I yelled
And I cried
And I broke my favourite mug.
Because, despite my best efforts,
I cannot hate him.

- p. winter

Hang on still brainstorming

Penelope Winter Dec 2021

Touch

For years I closed my heart
And, in turn, my arms as well.
But you held me once
And now each day
Without your touch is hell.

- p. winter

Two years ago I went through a very painful breakup. I didn’t let my own mother hug me for almost the whole two years. Nobody was allowed to touch me anymore. This year I finally found someone I couldn’t get enough of, and I let him in. But then I started letting everyone back in very quickly. Way too quickly. My family and some close friends were shocked that I was suddenly asking for affection. I couldn’t let go of him. I felt safe with him. I hadn’t felt safe under someone’s touch in two years, especially a man’s. I understood again what I had been depriving myself of. He never believed I wasn’t a touchy person beforehand. And it was so brief that it shouldn’t have gotten to me the way that it did. But it had been so long since I was held. Anyway. He doesn’t hold me now. I don’t know if I could let him if he tried.

Penelope Winter Dec 2021

Untitled

affection is the wooden horse
naïve gates open for,
but sunset comes eventually
and love breaks into war.

- p. winter

Penelope Winter Dec 2021

Rage Hurts Less Than Sadness

I don’t want to be angry,
I want to run into your arms and tell you all the details of my day.

I don’t want to be lonely,
I want to feel you hold me close and promise me we’ll make it there someway.

But rage hurts less than sadness,
And loneliness I know,
So I’ll continue moving on
The only way I know
And scream your name into my pillow
Just to let you go.

- p. winter

it is very hard for me to be genuinely angry with someone. because angry means you think you deserved better. and usually i accept that i got exactly what i deserved. and yet here we are.

Penelope Winter Dec 2021

Untitled

you steal so many nights from me
by leaving me alone
to weep and grip the sheets
and know you won’t be coming home.

- p. winter

lol I have to be up early but I keep crying oops