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Pen Lux Sep 2024
She was a sunset
layered colors in the clouds
amused to attune to my muse
stunning hues
as I pay my dues
with due diligence
as I accept what I must refuse
lighter blues
all the same as it was before
brighter
     just because
fresh eyes see better at night
scattered moonlight gathers
as my heart sings
Pen Lux Sep 2024
My city exists on the outskirts
Where the conversations chirps
Can't reach me
Prayers for guidance
as my feet tap
  tap
Asking is knocking
While seeking direction
I breathe a little deeper as my heart raises vibration
Can't touch me
As I change directions
Moving through obstacles
Fluid, lucid, no longer ruined
I release my arrow
Refusing cupid
Can't catch me
No longer drinking myself stupid
I soar through the unknown
Flashing my new wings
As proof I've grown
This hermit
steady working
Has some repairing to do at home

In lands not much greener
The grass still grows
Pen Lux Sep 2024
protected in this fragile state,
wind rushes through me,
echoing a heartbeat

my past companions
entagled in my integrity
have begun to spin faster

strands of web
alchemized to gold
as full moons appear
and fade

counting the stars
one by one, day by day,
endlessly,
as the years pass.
until our goodbye
is no longer poisioning.
until our goodbye
fertilizes new growth.

the passion in blooming
was once my undoing,
yet, no longer so looming,
or damning, or dooming
as I swing hard, heart heavy,
and prepare to take flight,
over the Sea.
bite me,
soaring bullet, straight arrow,
striking hard, falling hard,
tongue sharp,
grab the tarp for this new heart,
it's healing faster than you can tear apart.

words *****:
sticky, messy, hot and heavy.
vibrant smile, searing red.
I see you
seeing dread.

grey today, but with a shine,
a flash of your smile in my dreams.
turn me sideways.
I'm seeing you, loving you,
in nightmares until daylight.

no longer settled with,
"what's left of me?"
no longer longing for what was.

I'm amused, my muse,
no longer confused
with the parts of me that struggle
when I'm reminiscing you.

A love, once loved,
never unloved.

I began decaying in the process of
trying to love another,
when I never stopped loving you.

Letting go of what doesn't serve me.
I'm creating space
as I grieve what it means
to let that love breathe.
Pen Lux May 2024
brown born and alive again
the dirt hums as nature shifts
tectonic lifts and cease pulling
everything within me tips
as my head nods to his musings

feelings bubbling up
can life stop being confusing
the terror in our meeting
as your eyes capture my soul
the taste of lemon in my mouth
too many seeds to plant
so I spit them out
and watch them fly
as far as they can go
expanding horizions daily
who knows how big they'll grow
I'll lay back and lay out
put my heart on display
but not hand it out

poppies growing in the cracks
that create when we meet
face to face, then back up
taking distance
reminiscing on the missing
that's caused by all that is missing
as you light the spark within my heart
reviving the passion I thought was unlisted
but now it's here and it's knocking, annoyingly persistent
if you get my jist and find that list, could you pen me in?

clear the page and clean the sheets
turn the clock and blow the roof down
tell me it's now without words
Pen Lux May 2024
to be a human
is to hide
but I'm a creature
who soaks in light

feeling light
as I sit in the memories
finding the peace within them
and setting aside what doesn't serve me

the swerve in me
where I didn't think there was
deserving in me
has calmed to a sway
as clouds part open
as my perspective shifts
as spirits lift up
and far out of me

a single soul to dwell within
this vessel of mine in which I can hide
only within the mind, my thoughts
everything within my eyes, my heart
Pen Lux May 2024
full moon tonight
sky in my eyes
shadows are my sight
with blurry eyes
I squint to see
and bask in light

the deep sea
in your gaze
a glance
casting bait

drawn in
yet not cornered
strapped in
yet still free

I've been caught in,
somewhat lost in,
a moment of longing
for the next moment
that we meet.

full moon in your eyes,
my heart
a wolf,
howling.
Pen Lux May 2024
I grow inside
turned outward
peeled back
savage
flaming
tender

emotional ******
hearts mend and render
me weak to my hearts prayers
my layers wound tight
entangled with fright
of what's right
if it's just a thought
reality it's not
but the thoughts still tickle
tingle
down my spine
into my *****
throbbing
from inside the mind

what's this I find?
my shadow basking in it's pleasures
as I sit and sip my coffee
smoke my spliff
play the same old riff
inhaling the impaling
that plays out in my mind
the same old tune
we played in june
only this time it's me thinking ***** things
feeling guilty that you're not a part of my fantasies
feeling grateful that you're a part of my reality
unsure where you fit
if you fit, and if you feel nice inside of me.
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