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Pen Lux Mar 2024
I'm relearning connection
With everything I've got:
My light
My love
And
My words
Pen Lux Mar 2024
Holding my breath
Afraid to wake you
The words forming in my soul
Are woven to shake you

Uncomfortably quilted
Is the paradox of my hearts mending
Tectonic shifts
The impact of bending

The impact of coming together
While needing to look inward
Volcanic activity, atomic weather
My passion is lava propelling forward

From blue, to green, to red, to black
There's destruction in this healing
As these scars begin their searing
Pen Lux Mar 2024
As winter meets its end
I meet myself at the beginning
It's taken time to approach and mend
Where rejection, first, was winning

My inner child is healing
While my pain is fully felt
I let my tears flow down
Heart healing as it melts

Sickness takes it's hold
Of my physical form
They said this soul was old
When I had just been born

The grief of loss
When I looked to her
She walked away
Door shut in my face

The grief of rejection
When he spoke his hurt
Those words were painful poison
Destroying all my worth

No parents to love
Or be loved by
I was only a child
But I wanted to die

Astral projection
My best friend was God
I begged to go back
But my journey, that was not

So I sit here and write
Allowing myself to cry
I hold myself softly
I'm getting ready to fly

Rediscovering what's to love
Realizing that I am enough
My strength is building slowly
Although the journey has been rough

My spirit is being guided
To find what hurts and pull it out
To spill all of my secrets
And remove my heart of doubt

There's been a drought
Long lasting
That I have finally shaken free
Today I walk in gratitude for all who have blessed me

Alone, in my tragedy
The wallowing that ensued
I walked away from all of you
And directly to my doom

I led myself astray
Because of the pain I could not face
At this point in time, I feel it's safe to say
I've found my way and I'm in a different place

I look around and here you are
Loving me as I am
So thank you from the very core of me
For loving me as I am
Pen Lux Feb 2024
I've seen a different side of me
That I didn't think I could
The one that takes less pride in things
That doesn't numb to shelter feelings
I'm not sure, but hearing his singings
Makes me realize that he is my teaching
No longer reaching for something that I cannot have
I've been sat in reality
But it is no laugh
The truth is something here for me
It's the one thing I can fully grasp
That time has passed
He is my past
I may be tired
But renewed
Feelings held back are no longer subdued
It may sound rude
It may be scary
But the things I must share
Are simply blaring

I've got work to do that's in my past
While I strive for a future beyond an ending
My present is healing
And in it
My silence breaks
Pen Lux Dec 2022
the bark
in my peeling
is revealing
what I'd rather hide

what's inside?
something sweet
yet not a bite

what's on your mind?
held in your mouth
please spell it out

share with your lips
not just in a kiss
what's in your heart
as I tear apart
my present from my past
to move forward at last

I have come to you
and long
to take you
caress you
undress you from within
and return you to my heart
Pen Lux Aug 2022
today there is time
a handful of options to choose from.
this restlessness has been dissolved
with people that help me to rest
so that this forgetfulness processed.

I found myself chugging down opinions
from people who speak with broken teeth,
finding clarity through curled toes in washed clothes,
roughed up shoes, and coconut stains.
june 2012
Pen Lux Aug 2022
tough break, my love
you can't shake my love.
I've awoken to hot rain
skin humid
eyes tired
wanting to see you.

I'm growing, my love
I can't stop, my love.
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