the first time in a month, I see you
and my heart collapses upon itself
a million times over.
what a wonderful experience, to be
tortured with love so timid it doesn't
recognize itself

I dreamt I wrote a poem
instead, I woke to ***** dishes
homework, missing you, and
avoiding spliffs. I hold my coffee
tight, **** in my bloated belly,
and squeeze into jeans so I don't freeze

I live in California
but I'm afraid of the ocean,
I live in the mountains,
surfing the web,
spinning my webs,
catching flies,
discover lies,
say goodbyes.

sorry that I mislead you,
misread you.

wasted
I
wasted
so much time

blades of bright green
cutting deep
softened
and
dried up
into soft browns

the sky ceased to weep
a world of sun
blossoming
flowering
drying
and
dying
it's the children who are crying

loosely gripped
onto plump lips
my pen shifts
supple movement
keeps me in the flow
as I shift from green stones
to the ocean: white and blue!

breaking down isn't an option
meditation and intention
spreading my wings with direction

In this moment
a p a r t
from      y o u
My insides turn
heart compiling
filing and sorting
every other moment
when wearetogether
forever better?
heating weather
beaten leather
never cheddar
fallen feathers never made such loud a sound
as when I found you bound and turned around
your remnants scattered and littered the ground
which I had called home