the day's breathe
runs thick in my brain.
a heaving mucoudial sigh.

words play tag and dodge
but will not stand still
prefering to run and trill.

the hum of traffic
soporforic....
and it
takes all of me
to concentrate on
the simple art of
driving....

i am at the end of this day
so drawn out and opratically
long...

i sit now, numb,
from all the academic,
angst and drama.
in the car,
in the driveway.

the home straight,
laid out, right before me.

the lights on in welcome,
inside husband and child
dinner for the table
the fires warmth beckoning


but still i sit
here ensconced,
in the quiet cocoon,
of the car, parked in the driveway.

where,
no one wants
or needs , a piece of me.

~


How is it I think I find what’s real within your eyes
But from your mouth comes words comprised of endless counted lies
Falling at my feet just like a charm without a chain
Tarnishing the wisdom that shall never be the same
Whisperings of darkness slowly selling off the proof
Scribbles on a sidewalk as a chalk line alters truth
There upon a billboard with its message loud and clear
Written in graffiti is a clue that you are near
Still you fight the reason that our worlds have come to be
Hidden in the sentences your voice it sends to me
Tell me if you kindly will, what I have done to you
That brings about this wrath I feel has jumbled up the view
When all I really needed was directions to your heart
And now I see that hell is at the place you said to start
Once I did believe in every tear drop that you cried
Sitting on the cushion fighting off your fears inside
Now I wonder if your ears can hear this slamming door
Because my ears have heard enough, can’t listen anymore

My sense of fear wears thin, it melts.
The presence of your love. Ceaseless.
Fear itself escapes my awareness.
My understanding cannot grasp why.
The comfort of your arms- I'm limply enclosed.
Though storm and terror attempt to
shake me from your grip, they fail.
Love only a mother can offer.
Only you can hear this love.
A connection from that first breath,
as it was for you, years ago.
The days shall pass, then turning
to years. No matter how they grow,
remain young. Don't you ever grow up.

Darling,
Are you ready to explore the world?
Hand in hand. Face it together.

Are you willing to travel the world?
Explore the unknown, discover the new, experience the old.

Are you giddy to see the world?
Come along. Beyond the steps. Front door gone.

Are you ready to explore the world?
Heart thumping. Fingers crossed.

I was so proud of him. He asked me how my wrist was. Better, I replied, though I was lying. We reached the gate at the end of the trail. As each rider went passed, he called out their names and smiled. Four hours later he would take his last breath in that same spot. The ride was a tough one. Thirty-nine miles and up three mountains. After conquering the second, he looked tired, but heck we all were. We continued and laughed along the way. I got back ahead of the rest, and heard he had crashed and was at the hospital. I wasn't terribly concerned, this is mountain biking after all. It was later that afternoon I decided to ask a coach how he was. I got the reply I never thought I would. Denial surged through me. I ran out of the house to my "thinking spot". I screamed at the sky. I had so much anger inside and I wanted to be sure God heard me and what I thought about the greatest injustice I had ever witnessed. God took someone who brought so much joy to my life. Words cannot articulate the beauty of his personality. He would yell halfway across the school just to say hi to me. There's a full moon tonight and I know that it is shining like he is providing the light.