I stare deep into the sky
My eyes above face
Wondering how big it is
And how it heats the place

All these cluttered thoughts
Run scattered through my head
For the sun is the oven
My body is the bread

The peace that my inside feels
From my head straight to my feet
For it covers me completely
Like a blanket full of heat

How good my body feels
My pleasure has been fed
For the sun is the oven
My body is the bread

A pale look has faded
Now a golden brown
My body fed of nutrients
That seep into the ground

It is hard to move myself
My body heavy lead
For the sun is the oven
My body is the bread

The ball of fire starts to set
The day closes to night
The heat then begins to chill
My body frozen fright

But tomorrow will bring a new
As it rises from the dead
For again the sun’s oven
Will bake my body’s bread

Sweet rain fills my senses
As I stand in a puddle of my emotion
A liquid barrier holds me inside
To stare down deep into my own mind
Only to think and have no commotion

Feet together like a glue
Each arm out to point at the world
To which direction I want to run
When my mind lets me wander
Then my body gets whirled

Why sit in the wetness of your thoughts
The blank stare you create in your head
It is time to spread your visions
Turn your puddle to an ocean
Let your source breath life and not be dead

Baby steps on your plain
Create a world with each soft step
Spread your illusion and your power
Raise your arms to the above
Create yourself filled with pep

You are only yourself
Something that no one can destroy
There is only a single you
And as yourself you bear a special gift
A complex brain you can deploy

Crimson leaks from my mouth
For I have been wounded

If my mouth didn't open
And the razor sharp words came out
I would not feel the pain
The leaks from my cuts

It is true that words can hurt

Not just others
But yourself

But who hurts worse?

The one with blood life pouring from words
Or the one smiling...

The love between two people
Turn to lust
The pleasure of becoming one
The nervous feeling of a mistake
The test taken
To tell the truth
Given a seed of life
Happiness fills the mind
The ninth month comes
Pain shoots through
The creation is coming
Life will change
Silence hits the room
Life has faded
The seed breathes not
The heart snaps
A part of you has died

I love my son
The other day we went to the game
~Beep Beep~

You Know
He wants to be a doctor when he grows up
~Beep Beep~

He gets all A’s in school
Smartest in this class
~Beep Beep~

You should see the kid eat
He has quit the appetite
~Beep Beep~

He seems to be getting curious about girls
I am going to have to have “the talk” with him
~Beep Beep~

I love to hear him say “I love you”
He is a caring son
~Beep Beep~

Did I tell you he was all-star on this team
They got 1st place at state
~Beep Beep~

Can’t wait till he drives
I have taught him a lot
~Beep Beep~

One day he will be married
He will have kids of his own
~Beep Beep~

My son will live a great life
He will be someone
~Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep~

These thoughts run through my head
But the cancer was stronger
Even though he is gone
He lives on in my mind

up
A better chance to go

Then to go
                down**

For the farther you climb down
The longer it takes to go back up

But while climbing up
You may fall down
Only to climb up once again

So always head higher
For a smile faces up
And a frown faces down.

A window cracks
A chill of air seeps through
I lie still in my bed
In my dream world

It hits my lips
Turning them to vast cold deserts

My eyes open awake

My tongue moistens my lips

I sit up frightened
The scope of my eye catches the window
The entrance
The exit

I walk over and touch the air
I star into endless darkness
Wondering
Thinking
Was he trying to get me again?

My mind goes through a lot
Two many unhinged objects
Shoved into a pocket-sized area
A curled web of thoughts
Tied around my already infirm brain

It seems the only way to turn it off
Is to close the broad shutters
The vision that shows reality
The two windows that hold the truth
Holding the pupils of perception

My ever so jaded shoulder
A stiff frigid table
Becomes a deep resting place
For the intense memories
Created in my fragile head

I then enter my own place
My candy coated world
One that causes my mouth to feel
To raise my lips just enough
To see a merry grin

One that causes my eyes to tear
Pools of crystal glee
A fountain of youth
Filling up the steel ducts
Of my giggling inner child

I have my dream
That seems so abundant and real
I spread my wings that tingle
Each made from every sparkling piece
Left in my delicate body

Then I fly so far and high
Away from my big bully called trouble
All I can do is wave a tiny good-bye
As the icy wind crystallizes through my hair
Chilling my skin just enough to feel a tickle

Until I wake up
To see reality’s evil eyes glaring at me
Trying to sink into my soul
Scorching through my beating heart
Then take my smiles away

But I realize it isn’t all that bad
For I still have love
And one powerful heart
Turning my will to unyielding stone
Making me invincible

I know who I am
I know what I want
I know I am strong
And I know I have enough direction
To be and do what I want

The butterfly soars again
Born from magic dust
Its massive wings
Torn no more

Rainbows of immense colors
Strength of crisp bones
To hold the strong smile
To the face of a tiny God

Flight courses through the body
Streams of candy to the eye
A flash to the pupil
A lustrous gloss of sugar

Body and soul back to one
The butterfly lifts to the sky
To experience such a vision
To endure a piece of heaven

Thinking too much it hurts
I feel dizzy and blind
Just too many thoughts
All inside my mind

I just get so confused
Some thoughts I cannot find
I have a giant scrapbook
All inside my mind

So many things to think about
Things evil and kind
I have so much stress
All inside my mind

All the thoughts holding me back
I feel slow and behind
Everything keeps building up
All inside my mind

But when I go to sleep
In my bed I am bind
That is the break I get
From the thoughts inside my mind

You hear the sound of a drill
As it pieces through your soft skull
Grinding like your teeth
As you feel the pain

Metal lightning being beaten
In your head with Thor’s hammer
Bringing a waterfall of tears
Rivers down your face

A boulder crushing your neck
Don’t move, it could fall
Shattering like a gunshot
Through a window

The temperature rises
An inferno in your mind
Melting your brain
Frying the flesh of memories

A head of mush
A blurry world in your mind
One more steal tear
You blacken out

To see a dying rose bloom
That is a sight

Each petal of life
Floats to the ground
Vanishing into the cold surface
Of the past

As time goes on
New petals of future grow
Filled with crimson power
Until the rose points to the sky
Welcoming all it has to give
And all I will receive

What a sight
To see a dying rose bloom

It starts with a glance
Each person stares to connect
But must be careful
Or a pure life could be wrecked

Love can feel strong
Looking into eyes not blind
They can make you melt
Or destroy your once strong mind

A hug can be tough
For tightness can be the best
For if arms are loose
Then the warmth becomes dead rest

A kiss can be sweet
Sugar cotton candy turn
Or pure dark evil
Tingle to an acid burn

To fall for ones soul
Brings the pressure to the top
So the body shakes
And the heartbeat will not stop

But take it away
The feeling will fall to death
So that one deep sigh
Becomes one person’s last breath

To play with ones heart
May seem easy at the time
But pain is not right
Back at bottom, hard to climb

The past has faded
The fear is now gone
No more pain or hurt
For my heart beats with strength once again

I am alive and risen
My body streams of life
From a single beautiful gem
One of great power

She is a winged angel
Sprinkling a smile to my face
Pounding a drum
Deep within my chest

To awaken now
To see the sun is a gift
For the day is filled with love
For this one special girl

Then to hold her
To stare into her sparkling eyes
To feel the softness
Of her crimson lips

To embrace her warm
To sink into each other
To become one
To make our love even more

A passion that has no words
A feeling that is just there to feel
Thoughts of magical sweetness
Two hearts beating as one

To be so lucky
To have found such a treasure
To be able to hold
Such a perfect thing

I thank everyday
That this girl is mine
I worship even minute
I know I am thinking about her

I take in every second
I get to hold her
I save every kiss
I get to place on her

To be able to love again
To take that hardest step
In my painful life
And resurrect it

Thank you
Thank you for letting me
Be your love
And yours back to me

Standing in a dark hole
Surrounded by troops of black
A frozen pale road
A shadow leads the way

A loud silence
A breeze of stale air
The world had disappeared
The whole quilt but one patch

Flickering lights around the mind
The lustrous pearl in the sky
The exit
Walk the path

The golden sun smiling at me
Sending his rays of pleasure
I sit and smile back
The crisp wind sings her faithful song
As she runs her silky hands through my hair

I sit on a small wooden bench
This is my territory
My happy spot
My eyes are closed
I create a slide show in my mind

A world with no fear
A world with  peace
A world without war

I open my eyes and feel my heart
It tries to jump out of my chest
But I hold it in

I come at the crossroads
Five areas in one spot
Standing still in the present
But must pick a direction
For an answer

I have been told to choose left or right
Both ways that will change me
And the people around me

To head back, is the past
But to in the past
Leads no room to move forward
Straight to the future

Sure I can take left or right
That lead to alternate crossroads
Or take the straight path forward
To a future I create

My choice is made

My creeping life started a new
Yet something was plainly missing
Like a penetrating cut with no sharp pain
Yet I felt a horned pain
A pain I could not control

Tiny somber soldiers surrounding my tender heart
Swords drawn to an unpleasant point
One intense robust beat
I am struck with blazing burn

I thought of no sheer cure
For this dense lifeless plague
Is munching on my concealed emotions

But then I met her
And she brought her rich golden army

I felt saved

Her tiny vivid soldiers of dazing beauty
Broke through my debilitated defense
Strengthening my forceful offense
Bringing to this once stone face
An enduring bright smile

The skies rained supple kindness
The grounds shot up to feel
Making my sheltered heart
Fight back with pure emotion

All it took was this nice pleasant girl
Combining her mind with mine
Linking two hearts to help heal each other

Together we made one truthful army
Toned by friendship and much more

I found what I was missing

A knock and she is here
The door opens slowly
There she stands

The heart beats faster

Her lips move up
The shine of white shows
A small breath exhales

The heart beats faster

Her eyes star
The body turns to mush
A small wink

The heart beats faster
The leap of contact
Her arms wrap around
A surprise burst of feeling

The heart beats faster

The feeling of being one
The warmth of two together
Eyes closed a sigh of happiness

The heart beats faster

As you hold each other together
You know you will be one forever
You are her hero for she is your dove
Together you the feeling of true love

I sit planted in the frigid earth
Leaning back, eyes to the sky
A rich sigh hits my lips
For relaxation has come

As the sun glistens on my face
I shake my petals with rapture
For each one is a fraction of my life
Attached to my tickled smile

I dance with the refreshing wind
For she is one with me
Her silky crystal fingers
Embrace my entire body

Fluffy clouds of cream appear
Crying down their dewy tears
The nectar runs down my skin
Giving my body a pleasurable chill

The world embodies itself around me
Like a tender cotton blanket
Then I shut my eyes to equanimity
For my day was content

Rock

The weight I carry on my back
The chilly hardness around my neck
The cement stones in-between my toes
The mass that crushed my heart

Paper

To cut through my skin
White sheet that makes me blind
Folding in my head for confusion
Covering my body so it may be breathe

Scissors

Cutting my energy to make me fall
Slicing my brain to **** my thoughts
Piercing my tongue not able to talk
Stabbing my chest to take the pain away

My life
Is a game of rock, paper, scissors

Come, one and all.
The fair of life has begun

Come take a chance.
Make a choice
Win a prize.
But do it right
For if you fail
You lose

Jump on the Merry Go Round
That is right folks
Happiness that goes around
For everyone to enjoy

Stop by the ferris wheel
Start your new life at the bottom
Try to rise to the sky
The highest of your peak

Never forget your youth
Grab some cotton candy
A soft tingle
Of your inner child

What ever you do
Be careful of the roller coaster
For it will throw you in all directions
Some that will make you cheer with glee
Others that may make you scream in fright

Enjoy this fair of life
Make your choice wisely
Which ride you want to go on first
What way you want to shape
Your fair of life

Pain in my head
A bit mislead
My insides dead
My life I dread
Body unfed
My arms like lead
I should switch to another thread

Too much to think
Mind out of sync
My throat to sink
Missing a link
Afraid to blink
Just want to drink
I think it’s time to change the ink

My mind it turns
My chest it burns
Bad luck returns
Stomach it churns
My heart it earns
Bad thoughts of spurns
Yes, I do have some more concerns

Don’t feel to fit
Feel not legit
I want to quit
My brain has split
Cannot commit
I lost my whit
There is more I need to submit

Feel out of time
My spit like slime
Stopped on a dime
Mute like a mime
Covered in grime
Feel past my prime
Ok lets go for one more rhyme

I cannot fight
My back is tight
I lost my sight
I’m full of fright
No more excite
Don’t feel polite
I cannot talk, just choose to write

The warmth of Mother Nature’s hug
Has turned to Jack Frost’s frosty breath

I hang on for dear life
My family vanished
My friends no more
The arctic winds chill my body
Making my once attractive jade skin
Now an unsettling brown
My arms they drain
For I cannot hold on much longer
The last of my kind
I want to set an example
I want to be the hero
But I can’t
My mind has ripened
I have let my people down
But it is time
As I fall I will remember the pleasant times
When I was not alone
But I am alone
The bitter steel ground is calling me

Good-bye Mother Nature
Hello Jack Frost

My book is open
A book of blank pages
Empty thoughts
No feeling, just dead

My pen is set
A syringe of life
That flows out
With a flip of the wrist

A chill from my mind sets
A large dark dome
Painful thin walls
Dedicated to thinking

Traveling down my arm
The information highway
Reaching the end
From being the beginning

Then my hand is alive
Rose from the grave
Filled with warmth
Alert and ready

I create page after page of life
Filling the soft white
With deep black
I make a story

This is my style
This is my writing style

Sometimes I wonder
Am I alone?

One self sheltered in my own mind
Fetal position, head lowered

Or maybe I am not alone
Anger on my left
Sadness on my right
Insanity holding me tight
The three that grew up with me

Anger was there when people would hurt
Sadness when people died
Yet insanity is still with me now

I guess sometimes I am not alone
At least not in my sheltered mind

Being a pin cushion of pain
The fist being the pin
Piercing into your body
Every blow another hole in your ego

Being a ball of amusement
Bouncing from wall to wall
Hitting the cold steel
Turning your mind to mush

Being a window of time
Shattered by hate
Every shard a piece of your life
Taken away from pain

Being a cloud of sadness
Raining salty tears
Drowning yourself in them
Washing away your life

Being a balloon of shame
Scared floating awake
Popped by your anger
Falling to your fate

You are the pin cushion of pain
You are the ball of amusement
You are the window of time
You are the cloud of sadness
You are the balloon of shame
You are NO ONE!

How could you do this?
Why did you do this?
You just went off
Full of anger
Spitting out one word
That took his life
You have such a short fuse
One touch and you blow up
He did nothing to you
Yet you killed him
Well a metal stare
Through your one eye
That is all it took
Why?
Oh why?
Why did you make me pull the trigger?

What would you do for a touch of happiness

Would you run that extra distance
Would you spend that extra hour
Would you show that extra effort

What would you do for a touch of happiness

Would you feel that extra pain
Would you spend that extra cash
Would you drive that extra mile

What would you do for a touch of happiness

People would do anything to be happy
It is something they need
They do the “extras”
When it is all quite simple
Happiness comes from the inside

I drop to my knees with images
A scrape to each round bone
But a larger one to my mind

Is it possible to bring an ocean to your eyes
But not feel the wetness?

To have an under water forest of thoughts
But not be able to view your own mind?

To find out that imagery
May not be your reality?

The mind has caused an earthquake
With a crack that leaks the crimson lava
Burning my poor smile
Melting it to a frown

What has happened to the once crystal ocean?
Why has it turned an endless brown of cooled lava?

From pollution
For I have polluted it with my eyes, my words, my ears.

So as I fall from my knees
Into a remembered position at birth
One word clears from my thoughts

Why?

America the beautiful
Is that beauty?

A man of no wealth
Sitting in a cold dark alley
Watching his own life slip away

Is that beautiful?

A mixed race of people
That seem to hate each other
Even though they all bleed the same color

Is that beautiful

Forests of green
Home to many lives
Being chopped to the ground

Is that beautiful?

Drugs that ****
Used at human will
Just to have a good time

Is that beautiful?

Depression hits a young adult
And the only way to relax
Is to take the life they had
Is that beautiful?

A man fights for his country
Attacking in fear
Only to come home in a box

Is that beautiful?

America the beautiful it is not

There is a book inside of me
A book of white
It is not square, but a circle
Some pages are written
Some are still blank
Some pages torn from pain
Some pages strong with joy
Everyday another page written
Until the day I pass on
Then my book is complete
My journey will be over
My story will then be read to be told
But now the book has many blank pages
I have plenty of time to fill them
With my life, my words
My circle of life
In a single book

Time has ended so I lay
The end to a very painful day
I lay silent with nothing to say
Here in my dark room

With eyes open I can hardly see
Staring at the ceiling thinking of me
Wondering in the future what I will be
Here in my dark room

Will I still have my dark room
The place where there is peace
Or will I feel deceased
In a new dark room

But maybe when the night turns to shine
I won’t feel so but feel fine
Until night when I come back and whine
Here is my dark room

Now it is late I can’t see no more
My arm falls and drops to the floor
The liquid dreams in my head start to pour
Here is my dark room

They sink through my body
They are as clear as the skies
This is what I see
When I look in your blue eyes

My body gets relaxed
My mouth breathes and sighs
I can’t help but smile
When I look in your blue eyes

It makes my very happy
The feeling never dies
I just feel so great
When I look in your blue eyes

They have control over me
I cannot tell any lies
I can only tell the truth
When I look in your blue eyes

Then you have to go
And I must say my good byes
And I think why oh why
Then a part of me dies
I cringe and start to sigh
Then I break down and cry
I will miss the look
In your wonderful blue eyes

The weak become strong,
For the fake are blind

The weak eyes have been burned
By the intense heat of hurt
A pain that turns a person blind
Blurring the vision
For tears of sadness lie glued to the eyes
But glasses of wisdom
Will soon be given to the weak
Making the vision crystal clear
The power to see the true in all
And feel no more pain

For the weak will see to the future
And the fake will stumble on the way

Have you ever just stood
Not doing anything, just stood

Head above, eyes to the sky
Your mind with the switch off
A blank stare into an ocean in the air
Fishing for thoughts
Using your eyes for bait

Trying to catch the fish of time
With fins of happy memories

But you find it hard to hook this fish
For your state of depression
Breaks the line
Setting the memory free
To never be seen again

To catch the fish
You need the bait of happiness
And the cheerful strength to set the hook

For when you reel it in
A smile will rise
Leaving depression drowning in the water

I stand at the crossroads
Four ways to a vision
A car in the distance
Should I let it take me down?
Stop my life in a flash
Lay there undecided
Or should I pick a way
A path to a different road
Each to a different me
If I pick, I could be wrong
Four choices, one mind
If I don’t pick, I will never know
Who I am
So who am I?
North, East, South, West
The path must be chosen
My choice

A volcano of a stomach
Lava starts to rise
Acid eating at the tubes
A person starts to cry

Nails of nerves pierce the skin
The fear is in the eyes
No matter what obstacle in the way
Still the person tries

The surroundings start to get intense
The brain it starts to fry
The soul starts to over heat
Then it starts to dry

The mind opens to a new
To see through deadly lies
The fists begin to tighten up
The looseness in the thighs

No matter what the person does
The body will surely die
For the person cannot match
Reality's larger size

A stone slab she sits
A drop of her mind hits the ground
She stares down
Afraid to look up and face the pain
A hand twitches
The only part still showing life
Pain has attacked her inside
The poison war in her body
She holds an envelope
Soaked from her sadness
It doesn't wash away
It is branded in the back of her mind
Only curiosity wonders
What is inside the envelope?
But let her be
She has to fight her own war

To taste a salty tear
But a taste that is different
For the taste of happiness is sweet
For ones mind water
Doesn’t have to have bitter sadness
Tender nectar from an eye
Can be caused by a smile
Maybe even a thought of glee
The purity of the drops
Can bring years of a frown
To rise again with power

I drive down a road
There lies a dead dog
But I don’t see a dead dog

I see a speeding car
I see a person not caring
I see a happy dog
I see a curious dog
I see a father making a sign
I see a sign for “Lost Dog”
I see a mother calling out
I see s mother holding a child
I see a tear
I see a boy crying

I don’t see a dead dog
I see a waste of a good life
From a person who still has one

Houses made of tight colorless flesh
Roads of cold steal ice
A sea of thick liquid oil
A sky of sharp dark dust
Holding a hated blood red sun

I walk around sluggish
Palms planted in my jeans
Scratching against the rough blue material
I hear the screams of children
Sounds of pain and anger
Shooting me in the head
Piercing pain rattles my skull

I look p and clear my injured mind
Then close the shades to darkness
A vision appears of a slide show

Houses made of vibrant sweet candy
Roads of bright golden riches
A sea of crisp soft liquid
A sky of fresh smelling roses
Holding a giving warm sun

My palms relax
A grin of happiness hits my face

Then the blood curdling screams return
The haunting sound kills my vision
I open my eyes of tears
I see the cruel world I live in

But this is not my world
This is not my vision
This is reality

An open area
A small breeze
Breathe it in
Take it to your soul

Heart thumping
A slow breath
Heart stops
The calm is coming

The warmth of the mighty sun
Like a wool blanket
Protecting and soft
No need to worry

A leaf drifts by
One with the air
If it falls, it looses
But it stays free

In some way you are the leaf
One with your surroundings
But you will not loose, you are free
You; are free

If life is an endless cycle,
How come it stops?

For there is no stop,
Merely a pause

Because the human mind,
Is an endless cycle of stories

Stories which are forgotten,
Remembered only when one reaches the light

The light being a golden book,
Of ones history of happiness

Within this book of eternity,
Lies a deeper truth

Life is forever
Life is endless
Life is eternal
Life is worth living

But life is limited, possibilities are endless

For life is short,
Merely a chapter in the golden book

He sits hunched on a bench
Head down in depression
His job of mind splitting Hell

His hair a sharp silver
His skin a corpse white
His expression of dark fear

His sits and waits
Staring a hole through the ground
His eyes, a still painting

His clothes of the darkest black
He holds a book of old
A watch on his arm missing the time

A shadow drapes over him
The air is stale
You wonder what he is waiting for

His arm slowly rises
A finger attacked by age extends
….YOU!

All you need is imagination to be smart
A 4.0 means nothing
It is just a number
A rank in a society full of robots
Everyone is smart in their own way
A mentally challenge person
Spends most of their life
Being a kid
When most other people
Forget what it’s like
To live young
In my opinion
Your mind is what makes you smart

The world is good
When holding you near
To close my eyes
To erase all fear
Time to let out
Just one happy tear

The feeling that is more than love

To run my hand
Through your dark soft hair
To show a smile
To prove that I care
To stay with you
By my heart I swear

The feeling that is more than love

Your eyes they look
Deep into my soul
We melt as one
And my heart you stole
For you have filled
That deep painful hole

The feeling that is more than love

A gentle kiss
Put upon your lips
Sends a tingle
To my finger tips
To lay as one
Attached by the hips

The feeling that is more than love

I really want
My girl that is you
Cause to feel
Is all I can do
So I prove that
I care for you too

The feeling that is more than love

Here is my thing
That I say with pride
A perfect rule
I know I can’t hide
Is to love you
And be by your side

The feeling that is more than love.

Let it take you for a ride
On the music highway
Each note a piece of the road
Drive it…
Ride it…

BE THE MUSIC

Let it dance with you
Your feet are the drums
Your hands the baton
Embrace it…
Embody it…

BE THE MUSIC

Let is sing to you
Ringing your ears like bells
Soaking into your mind
Take it…
Keep it…

BE THE MUSIC

Let is lift you up
Take it in your soul
Be one with the sound
Bless it…
Love it…

BE THE MUSIC

Let it connect with you
Controlling your five senses
See it!
Touch it!
Smell it!
Taste it!
Hear it!

BE THE MUSIC

So Stop
Drain your mind
Close your eyes
Breathe in…
Breathe out...
And get ready to

BE THE MUSIC

You came back
All these years you angered me
I tried to get rid of you
Delete you from my mind

You came back
Only to see me
You could of picked anyone
To hurt and torture
But you picked me

You came back
Now I sit in tears
All because of you
You brought me to this
I am me, don’t change that

You came back
Now I will end it
I sit with a gun to your head
Plead for your life
Say you are sorry

I am sorry!
I said plead for your life!
I am sorry!

Forget it!
I will make you never come back
For I have the gun to my head!