That moment
When everything is language
Blanketing (me)
Capturing the present
Inside (me)
Inside layers
Of signs
Universal

That moment
When words transform
Minds (me)
Transform planes
Create (me)
Something fragile
Eternal

I sense the air growing increasingly dense
From the way she wrings her hands and how her eyes stare emptily at the
horizon
And from the way that he continuously asks her if there is anything wrong
I see them battle their demons while the kids play

Silence is fearing
The silence in your presence
Night's painful lessons

Words still unspoken
Treacherous words kept inside
Secrets we must hide

Silence in secrets
Painfully longing for words
Spoken though it hurts

I spent days
looking
reading emptiness
flipping through
page after page
of absent words
searching
certain they were there
somewhere
between the lines
among the hours
spent...

There were steady streams
Inside the cave
I could live in there for days
Never tiring
Never wanting
Never wishing to go back

I dried up
Outside
When it closed I had no words
Not a syllable
Not a sound
Not a thought to express

I knew there were steady streams
Inside the cave
And that I could live in there
Always dive
Always swim
Always drown in my other self

My skin was always whole
its pristine surface white
with only a few constant
bruises

I always bruised easily
my bones never broke
but I hurt
my skin never tore

I had no scratches
never cut myself
But I was dark
in certain places

I should not wear short skirts
they would show

magic sprung
from the words strung
between two
opposite fools

funny,
how simple sometimes
means genius
and other times
cheap

I forgot
Yesterday
I suddenly forgot
How
To button my shirt
I forgot
For a second
Then I remembered
It all

I forgot again
This morning
I suddenly forgot how
To get to work
Or to get home
I forgot
Until one wrong turn
Made me remember
The right direction

I forget
For seconds
Or minutes
I forget
For how long
I forget
Myself
I am scared
But then I forget that
too

huge fires
start in your toes
but reach
much higher

I met her at the library

She was wandering the aisles

As usual

Browsing for a friend

It was her favourite place

But she was crying

Silently at first

She pulled out random books

Opened them and threw them

Increasingly violent

She emptied the shelves

screaming

She finally collapsed

In a pile of books

All empty

I drank the news
That night
Burned my palate

Sped through my veins
Like a malicious spirit
Volatile conscience
I evaporated
I raised my glass
That night
Asked for another round
Of darkness
To fill me up
Like an endless night
Into which I could run
I vanished

I lit it up
That night
Set my world ablaze
And jumped
Into the flames
So, like a phoenix
I might rise again
From the ashes

A lot of words
saved up
sorry about
the flood

I was late
I had to run
Had to take a shortcut
Had to run
My heart already pounding
When I saw it
I had to run
I had to scream
I was late

Sometimes
I just want to bury
myself
deep
in you

I  always wear red...

Tonight I bleed
I make myself a
Dazzling crimson dress
Of blood
From random
Self-inflicted wounds

Tonight I bleed
My tears are red
From the blood spilled
When I tore your heart out
And threw it on the floor
I should have cried
Long time ago

Tonight I bleed
And I share the wounds
With you
We cut ourselves
To match
And once again feel
Connected

Tonight I bleed
My blood spills on
Treacherous paper
Dangerous paper worlds
They flood
They are destroyed

I always wear red...

Numb from winter's chill
She set out one morning
Seeking adventure's thrill
She ignored all forewarning

The pale sunlight shone
Like ladders down the trees
The beasts of the night had gone
replaced by the humming of bees

Her path was well prepared
She knew where she wanted to go
Not knowing though if she dared
Her paces had started to slow

The cracking sound of a branch
Made her startle and give up a cry
Continued as if in a trance
But a tear had appeared in her eye

Such forceful gravitational pull
That place in the forest presented
Even though her life was full
That power was unprecedented

It grabbed her without a warning
Twisted and bent her thought
Midnight replaced the bright morning
Her captor she never fought

Though strange and slightly deform
His presence itself was enough
His touch was a violent storm
Soon her old self she would slough

Totally transformed she was
When they found her the next day
Her hands had turned into claws
And her soul had been taken away

I remember marking
Your territory
Taking trips
Taking time to
Carefully draw up
Every inch
Of your body
With the tip
Of my tongue

I remember playing
Hide and seek
On your territory
Letting hands explore
set up a camp
And build a fire

I remember claiming
This territory
Taking it
Willfully demanding
This territory
To be mine

I screamed
And I ran
But the image caught me
I knew him
The suit and hat
Faceless
Shapeless
Yet familiar
The darkness inside
Despair
Grabbed me
Consumed me
And I became nothing
But air
Darkness in those
Looking for me
And fear
In those who saw
His many forms

She had been surprised
The first time he approached her
Commented on her style
Her linguistic attributes
And she was new to the game

She had been flattered
When he had asked her to pose for him
Invited her into his world
His territory
And she was new to the game

She had been willing
When he changed the game
Provoked her to change her act
Her art
And she was still new to the game

She had been hungry
When he let his art penetrate her
He invaded every thought
every dream
and she was no longer new to the game


She had been desperate
When she had found that he was gone
But found traces of him everywhere
With others
And she could no longer partake in the game

She was determined
Once she found herself again
And started creating her own life
Her own game
He would not know this game

I have been there
on the edge of nowhere and everywhere
where my senses were screaming
and the real was like dreaming
only faster and wilder
never wished it to be milder
just jumped on the wagon
and ruled the skies like a dragon

I was there for a second
and since then my soul has beckoned
take me back let me explore
take me back for I want more
and the dragon inside wants to fly
but I stay, I do not even try
those adventures I still get in flashes
and I try hard to steer clear of crashes

We woke up disoriented
Blinded
The room was white
Unfamiliar
And painful

One started screaming
She had found her skin
Frayed in places
And then patched
With fur

Another one came to
But she could not move
For her hands and legs
Had been sewn
Together with the mattress

And a man
Lying next to me
Had been given
An extra pair
Of arms

I wondered who might be missing
A pair

****** was the room
First seen as white
And I as well

I realised
That I was holding a needle
And a scalpel

Know
That I write in faith
That I bear light
Always

I know of no times
sweeter
than mornings
with you

I weep
when no one is watching
I weep
for those I cannot save
I weep
for those who give up
I weep
because I have no power
to stop them
I weep
because I wish
I could

I  know you.
I have been watching you
For a while.
I know you want me to
And that you want me too
I can tell this from your smile.

You know me
I know you have seen me around
I am somehow always there.
Every thing you do, I have to see
I have to hear every sound
You see,  it is all because I care

I knew it all along
From the way you smiled in class
That I was meant to be your girl
Is this totally wrong?
I know you've checked out my ***
I just know that I'd rock your world.

But I have to lay low
A relation is not allowed yet
But soon,  when you graduate...
So I'm planning to take it slow
Savouring the moments we get
Until we're allowed to date.

...and yes, I am a teacher!

The silence
in words never uttered
never written

The absolute absence
of words

My heart races
still
it hasn't come down
From its trip
adventure                                                                            
to the skies
the moon
another dimension

It races
still
It pounds
It quivers
as you reject me
deflate me
humiliate me
For thinking
For dreaming
For wishing
you wanted me
needed me
was bound to me

too

when the phone rings
and no one's there
imagination leaps

at least now
I know
that you're safe
though silent

Glorious!    Immortal!

Like runes

Your words
carved

Into my soul

I remember flying
Silently gliding
Over magnificent landscapes
Mountains, lakes and deserts

I remember being pushed
Instructed and embraced
By you

once she entered darkness
she knew
she would not return

did we sleep
and did we dream
the same line
did our dreams intertwine
in here
for a moment
did we sleep?

they all leave
one day
they let go
of me

Afterwards
                   Spread across sheets
Ripped
Burst

She is
Absolutely
                        Perfect

someday
you'll burn down this place
I know
and from the ashes
you will crawl
in silence

but

that day
when you've scorched this place
you know
that in the grey ashes
I will still be
RED

tomorrow
I hope
my fears will be
follies
and not truths

I knew him
Waited
Feared
Longed
Before I met him
He never said he wanted it
He never said he didn't
Never told me no
But somehow
Anyway
By the way
He has always had access
to My heart
My thoughts
My soul

I remember you wanting me
And wanting others to want me too
So you could want me even more