we bleed
but nobody sees this
our blood is invisible
our scars go deep
but fail to surface
and attract attention
in the media
we bleed
and try to stop it
with pale green bandages
of soothing sedation
in piles of junk
impulse purchases
we bleed
and our wounds overflow
with trash
in our collective conscience
and cause clots
seisures
and re-loads
we bleed
but we refuse to die

The door
the door had always been locked
the door had always been locked and no key
they said
the door had always lacked a key

the sounds
the sounds came from the door
the sounds came from behind the locked door
I could tell
there was something behind that door

a voice
a voice kept calling
a voice kept calling pleading and calling
for  me
a voice kept calling for me to come downstairs

Dried youth
Peels off
My face

Like paper
Memories
Of touch
Of years
And beauty
Past

It is frightening up there
Everything is flooded in light
Every ripple gets magnified

And they're all bound
By a strange force
To keep them all
From floating
Sharp edges on everything
To cut and bruise
Blood falls like rain
And leaves evidence
Like permanent shadows
On the ground

Even light is cut up
Shades with razor sharp edges
Divide the surface world
And harbour fear
Of what may lurk
Inside darkness
And underneath

So, I choose to dive
To live below the surface
Where masks dissolve
Where contours are blurred
And gravity doesn't pull
Enough to break the flow
Of liquid dreams

It is dark down here
But it's safe
Light shafts don't get far
Sounds are but muffled cries

Here rules only instinct
Urges to follow primal pulls
Instinct lets me slither
Swim in the dark currents
Fearing nothing
But nets cast from the surface

taking his hands
putting away the knife
she saved him

I would fly
five thousand miles
as a butterfly
and sit on you window sill
tired but gracious
and completely still

I would sit
outside your window
looking in
and you would observe me
colourful and inviting
but too fragile to take in

I would stick
to the glass membrane
between us
and I would slowly burn
hypnotisingly tragic
but inevitably true

absence coupled
with silence
makes this woman's
imagination
run wild

I met a man one day
in a park
where we both watched the world
go by
as we sat on the bench
with dreamy eyes

He was telling stories
not just to me
but to the air
to the whole world present
that day in the park
and I stayed to listen

You bind me
You tie me in a dream
You find me
You seek me out in the crowd and
Blind me
You fixate me
You put a blindfold on me and
Lead me astray
You tease me
You pass me pleasures and
Take them away
You observe me
You watch me wreathe and yearn
You create me
You might even break me and
Pick me right up
You make me
You deal the cards so I can play
with you

My writings are quite versatile
I don't settle for one single style
Sometimes rhymes come rushing to mind
sometimes I cannot even find
a single one

I may write haiku
compelling simplicity
in seventeen beats

In all I write
and everything I am
there is dedication
and genuine love
of language
and what can be said
when rules are bended
but never broken

I took a trip today
let myself go
on a quiet rush
unnoticed
and in plain sight
I let myself go

I took a trip today
let my blood go
on a mad rush
unwarranted
but deliberate
I let my blood rush

I'm not writing
Poetry
I'm having ***
Same thing
Actually

We should have said something
We should have done something
Believed in something
We should have cried out
And faced our fears

But we said nothing
We did nothing
We didn't believe
In anything
Money couldn't buy

So we sold it all for money
Sold our souls
We pawned our treasures
And took the money they offered
To keep us quiet

We spent it all
We had one hell of a party
But hangovers come with longing
For what we used to have

And now it's too late
Somebody claimed our goods
Before we could buy them back

We no longer have a common soul
Nothing will keep us together
So we scatter
We wander without direction
Without a purpose

Or we frighten
Whenever we see belief
We scare at the sight of others
Who carry their cultures with pride

We should have said something
We should have done something
We should have at least believed
In something

...

On that last day
Before everyone else
He came to her
In secret
And finished
What they had begun
Earlier
In silence

Awakened by colour
Doused in light
And fantastic sensations
Of dreams
We escaped the night
Through shafts
Made by fluorescent stars
And to the sound
Of a majestic drum
Dictating dance

We sat on bubbles
And rode rainbow tigers
Holding each other’s hands
Linking fates
With cobweb chains
Dotted
With purple diamonds
We set the web on fire

The pale sunlight shone
Like ladders down the trees
The beasts of the night had gone

replaced by the humming of bees

Moþor hogaþ
Þæt þu
Þæs wuduwealdes cræft
Oferfarene

Her path was well prepared
She knew where she wanted to go

Not knowing though if she dared

Her paces had started to slow

Moþor hogaþ
Þæt þu
Þæs wuduwealdes cræft
Oferfarene

The cracking sound of a branch

Made her startle and give up a cry

Continued as if in a trance
But a tear had appeared in her eye

Moþor hogaþ
Þæt þu
Þæs wuduwealdes cræft
Oferfarene

Such forceful gravitational pull

That place in the forest presented

Even though her life was full
That power was unprecedented

Moþor hogaþ
Þæt þu
Þæs wuduwealdes cræft
Oferfarene

It grabbed her without a warning

Twisted and bent her thought

Midnight replaced the bright morning
Her captor she never fought

Moþor hogaþ
Þæt þu
Þæs wuduwealdes cræft
Oferfarene

Though strange and slightly deform
His presence itself was enough

His touch was a violent storm

Soon her old self she would slough

Moþor hogaþ
Þæt þu
Þæs wuduwealdes cræft
Oferfarene

Totally transformed she was

When they found her the coming day
Her hands had turned into claws

And her soul had been taken away

Moþor bewépeþ
þu þæs wuduwealdes cræft
Underhingest

Therapy

She had been there before
Tried to reach him
Tried to knock
Be polite
No one answered
It didn't seem urgent

She knocked again
Louder
She had no key
And it was urgent
She had to get inside
To reach him

She bruised badly
But the door finally caved
To victory!
And she called him
But all was silent
Contradictory

She looked around
At regret
Countless sacrifices
Mindless mutilations
Upon a false altar
Rejected by God

He was nowhere
Only an echo
In the horrid remnants
Of his experiment
With love
She had to get out

I want to tan
I want to sit in the hot mid day sun
and install a sunbed
to add that extra crisp
to my birth marks
when I fry

I want to pop pills
I want to do hallucinative drugs
like mushrooms or acid
and gamble with my mental health
because I can
it is mine to waste

I want to smoke
I want to inhale the perfume
of cancer
and begin self-destruction
my own revolution
in small steps

Momentarily we met
Words touched
On a backlit page
So briefly
We needed to flee
For time
Earth's revolution
Parted us each day
So, when you slept
I longed
For your words
Each day
And I shivered
In the coolness
Of your structures
You mesmerised me
Bound me to the letters
We wrote
In collaboration
On unreal paper
In the hours
We stole
I breathed this
For a moment
Pretending

Rain
Pouring
From ripped
Clouds in the sky
Darkened days of March
It rains
Not

Drip
drip
droplets

Of a sweet nourishing drizzle

Not
Sad lamenting rain
Like tears f
                    a
                       l
                         l
                           i
                            n
                             g
On an empty world

This rain is
Washing rinsing cleansing
Flooding                                        eroding                            destroying
Opening

lubricating           exploring                               flowing
                                                  Exploding

Torrent of lust

...and darkness crept in
through the cracks
of a fake smile hiding
the real
painful enlightenment
that truly blocked
the sun

I want to capture
your thoughts
and manipulate
your dreams
to make you write
forever
in my name

In the basement
In his secret room
He breeds
Dragons

The ignorant nightingale
sings happily
to welcome spring
in Suburbia

Entering your room
I would let you rob me
of all my senses
one at a time
until completely sedated
and oblivious

Entering your darkness
I would let you steal my sight
and listen closely
for your breath
and the uneven rhythm
of stampeeding hearts

Entering your silence
I would let you remove every sound
so I could taste your words
on dry lips
like parchment
with sacred chants and poetry

Entering your mouth through words
I would let you sedate my tongue
so I would have to smell your presence
I would inhale you
and touch the very essence
of you

Entering your mental place
I would let you take the last of my senses
no longer needing the physical touch
to feel you
or to feel
anything

When entering your room
I would give up all senses
to completely forget
and to become one
in eternity

I dreamt of Columbia
of a city in the clouds
and my hands on fire
wielding powers
unimaginable

I dreamt of beauty
floating
connecting
creating pathways
for narrative

I dreamt of towers
collapsing

Burning structures
disintegrating
crashing

I dreamt of searching
exploring
then fighting
for truth


Today, even
I have spent my whole day
dreaming
of going back

for every message
unreplied
another message
sends itself
to enquire

I
I want to sleep
forever
and dream
of things
I do not dare to
make real

II
I want to write
those dreams
and capture
each fantasy
like frames
of a disturbed mind

III
I want to capture
your thoughts
and manipulate
your dreams
to make you write
forever
in my name

a proper heretic
she tried to save the unworthy
believed they had potential
and she even healed her opponents

she took disciples
who would gladly spread her words
before her allies
burned her at the stakes

despite their numbers
she never learned
her craft
from
them

poetry became
reality
words literally
smashed her
and she
transformed

Inevitably
We collided
Like particles
Creating matter
Out of light
And miniscule black holes
In our conscience
Into which
We were pulled
And thus split
Once again
In darkness

I never could do anything
Right
Although I was good
I was
always one step
Away from perfection
Always a pound too heavy
Or a pimple to many
From beauty
In my mum’s eyes

And now I won’t
try
Because I can
Choose not to
Try to live up to
My mum’s sense
Of perfection
And I do
I actually feel
Rather perfect
As I am

Some words
like music
allow us
to touch
and caress
each other's
souls

some words
in rhythmic flows
with rhymes
like brainwaves
soothing the soul
allow us
to enter each other
in a communal state
of euphoria

Some words
just connect
perfectly
and form
not just some
but all things
anew

I dreamt of Columbia
of a city in the clouds
and my hands on fire
wielding powers
unimaginable

I dreamt of beauty
floating
connecting
creating pathways
for narrative

Today
I have spent my whole day
dreaming
of going back

the irony
in hell being hot
and churches
always cold

but then I dreamed
that I would
self destruct
too

We smoke happiness
they say
we are happy
and we smoke more
than others
it seems
we die a different kind
of happy
this way

I built a paper world
He helped me
He flew my paper planes
And let me dive from them
Onto a paper lake
He took me hiking in paper mountains
Seduced me in a paper cabin
And left me high
Lying on the paper floor

I built a paper world
He helped me
He drew my images
He filled my pen
But a storm arose
Carried off our paper world
And blew it into the fire
Torched it
Now it's gone.

when skill
and agenda
are combined
with sense
of narrative

he was given wings
preliminary ones
for testing
in a safe environment

but he took them outside
and flew
higher
than anyone had imagined

Laughing out loud
they don't know what they've done
with their faces in the sky
I want to bring them down
and punch them
to kingdom come

Bleeding out loud
My heart is writing their names
in runes across my world
I want to tear at their souls
and pull them
down to my hell

Screaming out loud
My inner beast is readying for attack
on those people who mocked it
I want to unleash it on them
and teach them
what it is like to hurt

A total absence of colour
Blinding
But allows

A new creation
A blank page
Unfolded no flaws
A cry
But white is silence

A beginning
No given direction
Loss
But a chance to be

Anything

For a while
we shared a dream
of buttons, fabrics
elongated figures
frozen on platforms
we saw the inside
of memories subjective
overlocked and sewn
into costumes and masks
behind the screen conveyed
in experimental dance
we watched the shapes move
for a while
communicating
feeling the motions deep
underneath our skin
like whispers
unable to touch
for real
there were sample displays
to satisfy this need
safely
on our way out

But in the dark there were letters
like keys
to boxes of treasured light
that did not sting
or burn out
like the sun

This room has a chair hanging from the ceiling like a parachute for escaping a burning plane, and it has another hard copy hanging from the wall. Everywhere you will find a chair. You only need to look.

Dizzy and disoriented
I tumbled
Twisted
And whirled
And
Twisted
And tumbled
Then
Gently glided
Through the hole
I fell into
I stumbled
Recklessly
Tumbled
Hurled myself into
darkness
Dream
Disorder
Possible doom?
What would await me
Through this tunnel of temptation?
Would it be 9 rings of Hell?
I thought I felt the fires already
Burning from below
I thought I heard the tormented souls
screaming from the pits
Would there be spiders?
Venomous
Tricky with
Cobwebs binding me
In terror
Excitement
Or would I find Alice?
She did send me
The rabbit
And I could not bear
The temptation
I needed to go
Seek magic mountains
Enchanted forests
Wild beasts
And wonderful places
Even if
The journey would take me
Through hell.

I am kissing you
Right now
As you read

Our lips touch gently
Then again
Repeatedly

You smile

I feel your touch
Right now
As I write


Your hands slide under my dress, gently
Then again
Repeatedly

This dream is real