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Why am I so angry?......
What the **** do you think your doing?!
Take your eyes off of your phone for two seconds and take a look around you... Take your focus off the church for one minute and look at the people around you....
Your gaining all the wrong people and pushing away the ones that have always been for you....
I guess that's why I'm so angry..
I got a txt from you today:
"I really do care about your life grace.  Just Don't leave me in the dust" - Dad
Don't leave me in the dust????
ARE YOU ******* KIDDING ME?!?!
Yeah sure your one to talk dad....
"I don't just push people away for no reason"- Grace
Your a ******* joke.
C'mon dad werent you the one that taught me to be there for eachother??
I'm so tired of being the only one that's there for somebody in this relationship...
Going to all your shows, even your practices ... ****
You can't even come to one ******* SHOW!!! You never came to one swim meet..
Not one dance recital...
Not one talent show....
Not one...
Then you have the nerve to tell me not to leave you in the dust???!!!!!
I can't even believe you...
You were there before but now your given up before you even have the chance to try....
No dad you left me in the dust along time ago... And I was the ONE person that stood there with you through it all!!! I was there when everyone turned against you... I agreed with you when everyone else found reasons to disagree...
ALL I EVER WANTED WAS TO BE LIKE YOU, DAD!!!!
....but now?
******* I'm not so sure......
I always stood next to you...
No matter how much you never came through...
But now?
I'm so gone.
Hey you, yeah you its me, remember me?
the one you used to call your best friend, or at least it seemed.
whats going on with you?
cause somethings diffrent and i can feel it comming out of you...
Lord help her.
to you whats more important?
i can feel the anger in you rising up so high its about to burst out and come out smokin...
i can see all your old prioritys beginning to be shifted and the important ones all driftin..
**** girl where you goin!?
using all these temporary things to kick depression out the door.
trying to send it on its way
just dust it of your shoulder
knowing there is only one way
to keep it from getting any colder.
see you know its true.
and i think you know your running from the truth.
cause you're scared that deaths gonna catch up to you.
Lord i dont know what to do.
help me.
i need you.
yeah your scared you've abused your mind with very dark things.
and you've been showed some very hard things that have taken you places you didn't want to making it scar you.
every body goes through stuff
but you tend to dwell in it
but you've gone further and you've grown up taller
your finally seeing the world in a new order.
BAM then you get hit again falling flat on your face in disgrace
and all you can do is stand there while people humiliate you.
so your back into these temporary fixes again.
come on grace wheres your head at?
Have you ever loved someone so much, you'd give an arm for?
Not the expression, no, literally give an arm for?
When they know they're your heart
And you know you were their armour
And you will destroy anyone who would try to harm her
But what happens when karma, turns right around and bites you?
And everything you stand for, turns on you to spite you?
What happens when you become the main source of her pain?
"Daddy look what I made", Dad's gotta go catch a plane
"Daddy where's Mommy? I can't find Mommy where is she?"
I don't know go play Hailie, baby, your Daddy's busy
Daddy's writing a song, this song ain't gonna write itself
I'll give you one underdog then you gotta swing by yourself
Then turn right around in that song and tell her you love her
And put hands on her mother, who's a spitting image of her
And when I'm gone, just carry on, don't mourn
Rejoice every time you hear the sound of my voice
Just know that I'm looking down on you smiling
And I didn't feel a thing, So baby don't feel no pain
Just smile back
I keep having this dream, I'm pushin'my daughter on the swing
She keeps screaming, she don't want me to sing
"You're making Mommy cry, why? Why is Mommy crying?"
Baby, Daddy ain't leaving no more, "Daddy you're lying
"You always say that, you always say this is the last time
"But you ain't leaving no more, Daddy you're mine"
She's piling boxes in front of the door trying to block it
"Daddy please, Daddy don't leave, Daddy - no stop it!"
Goes in her pocket, pulls out a tiny necklace locket
It's got a picture, "this'll keep you safe Daddy, take it withcha'"
I look up, it's just me standing in the mirror
These ******' walls must be talking, cuz man I can hear 'em
They're saying "You've got one more chance to do right" - and it's tonight
Now go out there and show that you love 'em before it's too late
And just as I go to walk out of my bedroom door
It turns to a stage, they're gone, and this spotlight is on


Sixty thousand people, all jumping out their seat
The curtain closes, they're throwing roses at my feet
I take a bow and thank you all for coming out
They're screaming so loud, I take one last look at the crowd
I glance down, I don't believe what I'm seeing
"Daddy it's me, help Mommy, her wrists are bleeding,"
But baby we're in Sweden, how did you get to Sweden?
"I followed you Daddy, you told me that you weren't leavin'
"You lied to me Dad, and now you make Mommy sad
"And I bought you this coin, it says 'Number One Dad'
"That's all I wanted, I just want to give you this coin
"I get the point - fine, me and Mommy are going"
"But baby wait,
"It's too late Dad, you made the choice
"Now go out there and show 'em that you love 'em more than us"
That's what they want, they want you Marshall, they keep.. screamin' your name
It's no wonder you can't go to sleep, just take another pill
Yeah, I bet you will. You rap about it, yeah, word, k-keep it real
I hear applause, all this time I couldn't see
How could it be, that the curtain is closing on me
I turn around, find a gun on the ground, **** it
Put it to my brain and scream "die Shady" and pop it
The sky darkens, my life flashes, the plane that I was supposed to be on crashes and burns to ashes
That's when I wake up, alarm clock's ringin', there's birds singin'
It's spring and Hailie's outside swinging, I walk right up to Kim and kiss her
Tell her I miss her, Hailie just smiles and winks at her little sister
Almost as if to say..
a song by Eminem... i can relate to the daughter i guess
Try to kick me when I'm down
you can keep knocking
but you cant knock me down.
what goes around comes back around.
i hope you enjoy your time looking face down just standing there watching me drowned.
all these people looking down on me
All prove you wrong. Ill make it to the top you'll see.
I didn't do it for you,
i did it for me.
you were never there for me anyways.
I'm so tired of being the only one there for someone in this relationship dad...
daddy its me, cant you see?
you promised me you wouldn't leave but you did
its to late
go show the crowd you love them more than me... that's what they want, right?
That's what you want.....right?
all i ever wanted to make you was proud
proud of me for doing something i believe in.
dad I'm following in your foot steps but you don't see me.
your so focused on you.
This world has a mind of its own
its scary.
I'm learning to take life as it comes at me...
get pushed around, torn apart, and shattered but i keep walking.
one foot in front of the other seems like something you would do.
all I'm trying to do is be like you.
i plan to do everything i set my mind to...
all make it out.
i don't need you
your gone to me already
so i  guess i don't have to get ready.
no matter what you say,
i refuse to be stuck
I'm gonna move forward.
i may not be doing it your way
but to me this is the best way...
i may not be singing in a church,
but at least I'm following my dreams..
of course that's not what you have wanted...
i trusted you a little to easily.
and you ******* me over a little to often.
I'm young but I'm wise enough to know that i was used.
i guess i cared a little to much for you i over looked it.
i was battered, to far gone.
you never cared for my feelings...
and i cared to much for yours.
i hope you burn in your stupid choices.
and i hope you never forget those regrets you're forming now cause you don't have me.
I am so done with you.
I'm gone.
you had your chance, but you abused it.
I'm happy to know that those three years i cared for you were all a waste of my ******* time.
Of course you left me learning one thing....
Now because of you i know not to trust so easy.
you loved me cause i gave in so easy.
you only stayed cause you knew you couldn't get anyone better..
i wish i knew going into this, three years ago that this would be hopeless.
that i would end up hurt.
****...
Have you ever walked through your house feeling like a complete stranger,
in between these walls you've walked by over a thousand times?
or felt like an outcast to these day one friends?
ever felt like just a maid to everybody else?
i feel that. **** that.
and ******* for tricking me...bring my hopes up only to through me to the floor.
I feel so lonely...
And the darkness of today seems to never end..
Laying in my bed listening to my best friend talking... Im Looking at the Celing I can't keep my mind off of the things my mind deeply wants to linger in.
I wish I could just sink into this old carpet floor.
Because I'd feel safe there.
A human being can be used...
A person can be treated like a used toy....
But my old rugged carpet can not.
I wish I could blend in with the ocean and not the sand.
So u wouldn't be able to walk all over me.
I'm not stuck dad, I'm moving forward.
You just don't approve of anything I do that's worth being proud of.
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