Have you ever Felt so afraid,
That you can't ever stand being alone?
Have you ever felt so abandoned that the circumstances in your life didn't matter cause you would be depressed whether they were good or bad?
Have you ever been so used to feeling alone that you would choose to be by yourself besides hanging out with your friends.
You'd rather sink into the floor then walk amoung the halls of your own home.
Have you ever been so bullied so much that the words almost just become numb to you and you can barley feel the stab at your soul anymore because of it.... Intact  to you peoples hurtful words are a distraction from everything else going on in the world that's so painful.
Have you ever felt so stuck to the point where you turn to drugs orlook to the end of your drink to try and find the answer to all your questions?
Feeling so disconnected from everyone cause of all your past mistakes....
It's nothing new for you.
Then the people around you treat you like an object that needs to be fixed... Like they know exactly what you need only causing you to fall deeper and deeper into depression like there's no way out.
Feeling like your just a project....
Or that one friend that no body wants around cause you always need somebody to just vent to, never getting a chance.
People call you attention starved but it's only cause your always alone...
I know how that feels.
Your not a project.
Your not stuck you can move forward.
Your not attention starved... Anybody would do the same if they had to go through what you did.
You are you and that's perfection

I heard that tomorrows not promised today...
But what if what if I died tommarrow?
What would they have to say?
I don't want no regrets no no.

I wonder what it would be like....
How it would feel... All the sensations...
Imagining The warmth of your touch pulling on my skin. Grabbing me and placing me in all these positions. ******* I remember this. The way I'd guide your hands down me, you pulling my hair.
Trying so hard to let go but your temptation and I'm giving in. This is so wrong... But ****..
Everybody loves a good girl gone bad. It's not so bad, just let it happen... I can't...
You put my legs around your back pulling me closer to your skin this is so incredible. Then you hold me in your arms, I feel so ****.  Can't even give you a glance *******.  
This is where imagination gets me
Wake me up.

God I just wanna know you.
You say you know me by name,
Well I wanna know you by name.
Lord what will it take to know you like your own son knows you?
I just want to fall in love with you God.
Just to dance for you
Just to sing for you
I would want nothing else God.
Nothing else... Cause your all that gratifys.
I wanna speak like you speak.
And have the faith that you had to heal so many hearts, God I want that.
You brought a dead body back to life countless times.... And if you live in me, doesn't that mean I have that?
If you were heaven on earth and you're in me doesn't that mean You are  heaven on earth  going through me?
Ihave such a longing and passion to just dwell in you just to romance you lord. I would be forever satisfied.
Be my all consuming fire.
I don't want you just sometimes
I don't want you just tommarrow
Or just today
I want you in every minute of every hour because Lord you define me.
You give me an identity that is longer than temporary.
Romance me God.
Show me you're deepests passion
Lord I just wanna know you.
I would be forever satisfied.

The ashes fall
The wine spills...
Whats appealing to me I know it's not humanity.
How can I sleep when there's all these people falling around me.
I'm loosing my mind.... I see it running off now ha.
******* to my head pow pow, I fake it all the time.
Who am i to not even realize that there's people out there chained to brick and just **** like that.....Lord.
My daddy told me when I was young to stay away from **** like that.. He's seen it with his own eyes... God bless America. Sweet land of **** them all and let them die......
I wanna leave my mark on this world.... They say you can make someones day by a smile. But you can save the life of a child.
**** Lord  show me how to do it.
YOU where the one that touched the untouched, gave voice yo the voicless and healed the ones that had no hope, am I wrong?
If your inside me Show me how I can be that strong...
Cause theres a stirring in my heart God.
Tell me there's some way I can feed the hungry or give hope to the hopeless.
Cause to me it just doesn't seem right for me to be sure about his hope in my heart and not share it.
Joy is the atmosphere of heaven...
Help me be that atmosphere Lord.
Help me change the coarse of this generation..
Show me.

Erm.
Well...
****.

You were my everything.
Everything that is  now nothing.
You were my every minute in every hour and I wanted to spend it all with you.
All of it just to be near you.
You were the "L" to my "ove"
The light to my sky
The diomond to my ring the voice that I sing
You
Were
Everything....
And I lost you...
All because of some stupid mistakes.
Some stupid mistakes that caused us to part are ways an now we don't even speak... Anymore.
The only word I SPEAK anymore is lonelyness and longing..
Longing for you to even care alittle bit.
Just enough to even look me in the eyes.
Just enough to remember how you and me used to be.
And I know you remember.
Because no matter how hard you try you can't erase me.
In every woman that you sleep with you'll remember me because you'll remember where I am suppost to be.
In every memory that you make I know you remember ours because you can't forget me.
I was your one and only
And you were and stil are all of mine.
Because you are my everything.
I used to say alittle time is all it takes.
Just a few nights with the girls is all I need.
But I still cry everytime I look in the mirror an only see me....
That empty space is where YOU are suppost to BE.
....but your not here and I'm here just trying to cover up all these tears from falling any closer to my chest making sure my parents don't hear because I want to look my best...
I know it's gotta be killing you because it's killing me.
If only it was. But it's not.
I hate that I love you.
I hate that every time I think, a thought always brings me back to you.
I hate that every time I dream your in it
Every time I make a memory you're not in it.
And everytime I want anything to do with you I can't be in it....
*******... Hopeless relationships.