It's a new day.
And even the mistakes I made yesterday....
Are washed away.
The things I fail at today...
Will be different from the things i fail at tomorrow.
I've learned it's okay to mess up....
That I can't be perfect for every body.
I don't like being stuck I'm the middle...
But to move on, I guess ya gotta start somewhere.
It's a new day (:

It's a new day.
And even the mistakes I made yesterday....
Are washed away.
The things I fail at today...
Will be different from the things i fail at tomorrow.
I've learned it's okay to mess up....
That I can't be perfect for every body.
I don't like being stuck I'm the middle...
But to move on, I guess ya gotta start somewhere.
It's a new day (:

It's a new day.
And even the mistakes I made yesterday....
Are washed away.
The things I fail at today...
Will be different from the things i fail at tomorrow.
I've learned it's okay to mess up....
That I can't be perfect for every body.
I don't like being stuck I'm the middle...
But to move on, I guess ya gotta start somewhere.
It's a new day (:

please God help me..
I don't know who I am anymore...
I've made so many horrible mistakes. I don't even want to hear of you anymore...
God I don't deserve your grace your mercy or your love... Not today.. Don't waste it on me... Not for me...
I'm so **** lost!!
Stuck in a deep hole... Taking my last breath.. Singing my last song.. The one that won't last.. The one that dies off..
PLEASE nobody help me.. I'm fine here in this place. Don't try to save me...
I just wish I was dead..
These stupid happy songs... Don't mean anything to me anymore!!
This place I'm in... these mistakes that someday, ready or not all have to face..
He hates me
She hates me
You hate me...
You got your wis...
..cause now,
I hate me to....
I wish I was someone else.
I wish I wasn't me.
I wish I could be little misses perfect...
The one you've always wanted me to be...
That one I can't ever BE for you!!
The one I always try to be but fail at every try..
I hate this this
And I hate me...
The places I used to go to, to be free... I can't go to now cause they all hate me..
I've burnt every part of me
Realizing that every person I've ever wanted to be, isn't me!
That's it's just me.
And I can't take that.
Please I'm okay here...
Don't try t help me
Don't try to save me.
I'll find my way some day..

"YOU CAN TRUST ME".
words that mean so little now...
words that are just thrown in a sentence without knowing the true meaning of it all.
i believed you... i believed you in a heart beat
and in a second, it all meant nothing.. nothing at all...
why?
i needed you....
no worries though im used to my life  being treated like a joke..
yet i guess ive become numb to it now... i just thought that...maybe you ...wouldn't....but no...gosh
you think i haven't been called a ***** enough this week?
think i haven't been called a waste of space and told to just go **** myself enough?....
people handing me pills saying "there's a bathroom over there, go overdose and die...."
do you think i haven't heard that enough????
i just thought .....that maybe, you.......that maybe you would still be there for me...
i thought that maybe INSTEAD of leaving me in the darkness and slamming my emotions in the ground  that maybe that was a place you just wouldn't go...
that through hard times you would say... hey look im gonna stand by you in this....forever. hand and hand we will get through this together..
but i guess my hopes were a little to high for it all...
i guess i gotta a little ahead of myself..... i needed you..
...i needed you then... i need you now..
where do i turn now?
i hate this.... i hate being treated as if my life is some super funny joke...
i needed you...

God how could i be so selfish?
to completely turn you away, like i did?...
thinking i didn't need you...
knowing when i got YOU is the only time i ever have everything ill ever need..
guess nobody really knows what they need the most until you've finally lost it..
when i loose you i only fall deeper into the wreck i already am without you.
your every thing and i missed it...
all the times life killed me inside,
all the times when i cried out desperately for just ANYONE to listen,
without being shut down.
instead i gave up on you ...
the times when the one i looked up to left me and i felt hopeless i wish i would have known sooner that turning away from you was like loosing myself
i needed you then...
i need you now
now i know without you im nothing that my heart is broken without you.
i need you God.