You never
told me
you were
a ghost,
Dear,
creeping into
my mind
at night.

The happiest man I see all day
cleans up after us depressed college kids
While we chase jobs that aren't our dreams
And drown ourselves in liquor so we don't feel a thing
While we smoke ciggerates to exhale all the pain
And it really makes me wonder what were doing here if the happiest man I see all I day is only just a janitor.

What are you searching for at the bottom of that bottle?
Any message to be found, I'm sure you swallowed long ago.
I lose sight of you with every shot glass emptied.

-watch as you grasp at the shadows of the charisma upon which you rely.

You commit to the role of comedian perfectly; ironic
Your wit dulled along with your senses.

- like a court jester with no head to lose.

But someone like you should never play the fool.
"I love you's" mean less when tainted with tastes of whiskey.

And I just want you to want me like I'm that last drop...

I'm not asking you to let me be your sobriety.
I understand dependency...
I know I complicate recovery...

with my red wines and reminiscing.

- and I just want to clear your head like coffee beans...

You tell me I'm intoxicating
- and I don't know how to tell you I don't want to be just another drug.

i am not strong.*

i smell like strange girls and strange places
and a strange boys lips brand my cut thighs.

i know not who i am, and i have lost all control.

i am just another dead thing beneath your boot.