If you ever go through a broken heart
and feel as if you have no one
Always remember I love you no matter
what.

I don't want to be
the person that
everyone only has a memory of.
I don't want to be the girl who
sleeps all day
and doesn't at night.
I don't want to lay in bed
waiting for something to happen
I want to be happy but
I don't know how.
How can I when I have been this way
for so long.
I finally faced the world
and my reality hit me.
I'm so past comfort.
Therapy isn't even going to help me.
But I need it.
I need my reality to be the way it was.
When I was happy.
Maybe it will change even if its at a slow pace
**I am ready.

You and me
we float on the same river
in the same canoe looking
straight ahead waiting for
something new.
We were meant to stay afloat for
each other.
Before I met you my canoe flipped over
so many times.
At days I felt like I was drowning.
But now that your with me
holding my hand
I know that we are meant to be
best friends.
I love you a lot more than you will ever know.
So please stay in my boat with me,
we will find our way to the shore
and everything will end up being great again
once more...

Today I dragged my body around
down the halls
trying to make it through the day.
People opening gifts all around me and
smiling.
It made me feel so unhappy.
After that mess me and a friend jumped in our car
rode down to the ice cream shop
and started ordering our ice cream.
When I was ordering the person kept looking at me.
The person shocked me by saying
"You look very beautiful today by the way".
A stranger I didn't even know complimented me.
It made me smile.
I don't know your name
but if you are on here you made my day.
Thank you for saying it randomly.
Beautiful... I haven't been called that randomly in a while
what a great day it turned out to be.
-beautiful- what a great word to say.

All my life that's all I can remember
standing in front of a mirror
and pointing out my physical flaws.
Too big. Too small.
It didn't help that somebody was whispering in my ear
"you will never be good enough".
For two years.
Ever since then I have felt like I cant reach any ones
expectation.
But of course its not anyone else's problem.
Today out of all days I felt like I wasn't good enough.
Sometimes my true reality can become so
cliché.
Where's my knight ? Who told me I was beautiful and smart?
Oh that's right he never existed.
I'm the type of girl who fishes for compliments but
never gets them and if I do its out of pity.
I am so beyond angry
sad.
Tired emotionally drained.
That the old me I cant even see anymore.
I wish I was good enough to be me.
But I guess I am not.

I guess that feeling has come back to me.
What happened
I thought I was supposed to be happy.
Maybe my supposed happiness
was all just a major
lie.
I convince myself at night that its not
but what if it is
What am I to do then?
My heart feels like its going to break at
any given moment.
Can you tell me why?
My happiness feels like a knife at times.
Sometimes its dull. Then its sharp.
This happiness has only been temporary.
Its like I tug on my own heart.
I guess I am my own heartbreaker.

If there is a god answer my
prayers.
If there is a god what did I
do to deserve all of this?
If there is a god could he hear
my prayers and answer then
for me.
Please.
If you're there can you
at least be there for me,
so I'm not alone in this
world.
If there is a god I want to know
why all of this is happening
to me.