My other half visited me today.
For a while I felt okay.
I wasn't sad or afraid.
My other half gave me hope
When I locked my front door and
walked away.  
I looked back as I drove away.
I wasn't sad. I wasn't glad either.
But I had more hope than I did in the past.
My other half told me something that made me realize
that all of this mess that is happening to me
Is all for great reasons.
Its a chance to start over.
Its a chance to be happy.
Its a chance to save myself from me.
I am no longer afraid of the tomorrows.
I cant wait to face the future now.
I now know that everything is going to end up being okay.

I've had dreams*
that I wasn't this way
that my world wasn't crumbing around me.
That I was okay.
That I didn't have so much fear of pain.
That I could fly far away to not face
everything.
I don't know what to say anymore.
Pathetic I know.

Yesterday that's all I managed to do.
Scream.
I didn't know what else to do.
It felt like the pain was there
even when I didn't think about
it.
When I was screaming I realized
that maybe all that happened
was my breaking point.
If I didn't scream I cried.
I cried till I couldn't cry
anymore, then fell asleep.
But when I woke up
even though I stopped I could
still pick up the sound of
sadness.

Once upon a time
it felt like a little awhile ago
there was a girl who wasn't afraid of
tomorrow.
She wanted tomorrow to come.
She couldn't wait.
Now she fears the tomorrows.
She has this fear that nothing is
going to ever be okay.
She's the girl who cant imagine tomorrow.
She no longer has much hope.
If only it was different.
She misses the way it used to be.