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and now when i can't look at you
i see that you want me to be your view
saying that the love you denied is true
and without me your sky isn't that blue
you're telling me that you've realised
but you're making amends only to lessen the guilt inside
but i ain't a fool anymore who'd drop everything now
for you and the hope of "us" is dead somehow
leave me the way you left those 89 days back
in a puddle of my tears and my heart in cracks
it took so long and will take so much longer for me to fix my mind
and if your feelings are this fierce too then to yourself be kind
make something of everything that has happened and more
go through those stages of grief, they will shake you to your core
i can't let you destroy me again
or let you be the reason for my pain
can't forget the disrespect, the nonchalance, the hurt i didn't deserve
so all i want now is to live in peace and end this verse
i fear to hope that people can change for good
because doing that once killed something within me, i understood
if you wanted it, if you wanted me- you could
so yes, go act like i broke your heart and thus i am the villain of our story
i am strong enough to handle your hate and shall take the blame in all its glory
don't start now by dua lipa
for boys may come
and boys may go
but a man shall stay forever
the brook goes on forever and so does the love of a "man"
i have tried 99 ways to get over him
felt the **** of my scar on my skin
i wrote, i cried and died a little on the inside
waiting for him to come back, hoping he'd decide
that maybe i am worth his efforts and his time
and i ain't that ugly of a person that he's made up in his mind
but he keeps on breaking my already shattered heart
that still longs for him, belongs to him in part
i can't really wrap my head around the fact how
despicable and heinous a human can be
snuffing life out of another, issuing a death decree
and what baffles me more is how he masked all this all along
with each day passing was he plotting to make my suffering prolong?
abandoning me at the exact moment when i was all in
hardening my preexisting beliefs that love was a sin
yet i willingly choose to become a sinner
because in the game he's playing, i don't aim to be a winner
all i wanted was his faith and rest i would've happily done
but now the mere thought of companionship is something i have shunned
this feeling of wanting to hold on to that glimmer of hope
isn't really going away, maybe there's no scope
i don't know how much longer is this going to take,
how much more dawn do i need to come to wake?
Påłpëbŕå Oct 25
will this colourless existence ever see any hues?
or in this time frame all i shall feel is blue?
i talk to people and feel nothing at all
still checking my phone to see if he'd call
but he's already out there having the time of his life
pretending he's the victim and blaming me for the rife
yet day in and day out i cry, feeling weak as ****
only to piece myself back together and try my luck
he isn't a lesson but a trigger has he become
making me question everything and then some
i don't grieve the man he chose not to be for me
but i simply shake my head at the betrayal i couldn't see
for he went out there and told people about my vulnerabilities
thinking he did something right by crushing even the possibilities
of us even being civil to each other's presence
and maybe not always being better in each other's absence
how easy was for him to forget about me and my love for him
because i've witnessed him remembering her for years on a whim
maybe i had my answers all along and still stupidly hoped
my beating heart pumped more than blood, a dream to float
and now, when the ship has sailed and sunk
i am here alone, wailing and waiting for that punk
to finally see sense and mend his actions
but he's too far away, moved on with his stories and captions
how much longer is it going to take for me heal?
it's almost been 3 months...yet "We Don't Talk Anymore" hurts like a *****
i know this is good riddance, this is good for me but him turning out to be exactly like he promised he'd never be breaks me
i can't even talk about it, talk to him or do anything will all these feelings i have

it's just a chapter, not the entire book...i don't reread it, don't even want to but his nonchalance is making me feel ******* used

but nothing matters right? you gotta be strong p :)
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