She blamed her dad,
Or lack of one,
Who left when she was a little girl.

She blamed her mom,
And the men she brought home,
Night after night after night after night.

She blamed her school,
Who didn't understand
Why she didn't understand what they told her to do.

She blamed her friends,
Who left her, abandoned,
When she had nothing left she could give.

She blamed the stories
She read as a kid,
Tricking her mind with love and happy endings.

She blamed her first boyfriend
Who stole her virginity,
And left her: scared and cold and alone.

Se blamed society
And all it's minions
For casting her away like she was a freak.

She blamed the doctors
For lying to her.
Telling her she was okay when she knew she wasn't.

But most of all,
She blamed herself.
For being unable to give life a second chance.

I daydream at night
About tracing your lips with my fingers
And running my hands through your hair
About the inconvenience of intimacy
When you're there
And I'm here
But then I remember
That dreams are for children

s.v

You warmed me

You were the coat
That hung in my closet
The scarf
I draped over my shoulders
The sweater
I wore when it was windy
The clothes
In my drawers
On my back

You were the boiler
In my basement
And the color in my skin

When you left me
I was cold

s.v

"You're crazy and no one likes you." I don't know how to respond. I am ten and have never heard such hurtful words before. She smirks as I walk away in tears, silent in my own disbelief. At dinner that night, my mother says she is jealous of me because I am such a smart, kind girl. Now I am confused. Am I an outcast that is hated by all, or the poster child for perfection?

She is insecure
Envy green with jealousy
But she still hurts me

"Wow. It's really sad that you have to tattle to the principal instead of handling things yourself." I don't know how to respond. I am fourteen and am now embarrassed for asking my mom to talk to the school, and to make sure I didn't share any classes with my bully. I delete the post from my Facebook wall and lock myself in my room. At dinner that night, my mother says I am mature for contacting the school rather than fighting with my attacker. But I am confused. How can I stand up for myself if other people are solving my problems for me?

I cannot escape
Her words make me feel alone
What did I do wrong?

"Guess who." I know exactly how to respond. I am seventeen and I have had enough. My bully moved away two years ago; I thought she had moved on. Apparently, distance is not a problem for her. One sentence is all she will get from me: "I feel bad for you." The phone company has her number minutes later and I am proud of myself. At dinner that night, I don't tell my mother anything, because there's nothing to tell. There is no more confusion; I know that she is not the only one of her kind, but I also know that I am strong enough to handle anyone whose insecurites knock them down a few levels in the realm of maturity. I only wish the clarity had come sooner.

To my old neighbor:
Thank you for tormenting me.
You have made me strong.

I love to see your smile
my heart softly
whispers your name
I will never forget
how you picked me up
when I was down
{Don't cry
I am here to stay
trust
I am here to say
I will always love you
together
we will sail through
the storm
together
we will face
the squall
together we shall walk
together....
The years go by
you are my bright sky
your face means home to me
I will never leave you
I promise, I will lead you
each day close to my heart
{Don't cry
I am here to stay
trust
I am here to say
I will always love you
together
we will sail through
the storm
together
we will face
the squall
together we shall walk
together....

Why are some years
So world-shaking?
Is there something in that star sign business, after all?

Leo,
You will have an encounter that will recode your existence.
You will spend months
Writhing and tortured with desire.
Your comfortable career will free fall
You'll have the option to return
To where it all began
But might not take it...?
You will kiss your best friend
And feel nothing
You will kiss his best friend
And feel everything.

You will find yourself, in chaos,
You will start to write again.

1337

Upon a Lilac Sea
To toss incessantly
His Plush Alarm
Who fleeing from the Spring
The Spring avenging fling
To Dooms of Balm

I was a cherry tree - I dreamed
with evening birds, their words, singing home to me
The light of moon did come, and cool the sun went sleeping
trees and blades of grass, so green the Spring
void of willows weeping
Beyond the hills, fragrance fills
night's sultry air
awakes me