All I know is
I love him,
and he loves me
and now that it’s
been said
I feel free.

I sat in my car
by the small lake and
observed how the
shadows of trees
stretched out along
the grass.
It’s been months
since the sun has
shined like this,
a preview of spring.
I have impatiently waited
for warmer days,
and the sparkle of
the moving current.
Even on a low day,
watching a goose spin
itself around in the water
to get clean, helps.

He said that he
rolls over to my side
of the bed
after I get up in
the morning,
because it’s warm
and the pillow still smells
like me.

Pink and red
and a mix of the two;
long stemmed
and cut
set neatly in the vase.
I already picked
two of the petals
that had fallen
and placed them in between
the pages of a book
to keep.
I got flowers for Valentines Day
for the first time
as an adult
and it feels really good.

I not so secretly
think that most people
I’ve met,
but especially the ones
I’m close to are
planning to hurt me.
These thoughts slip
into my brain
where I’ve read
deep between the lines
of a text and suddenly
he meant to send that
to the other girl
and he’s only saying
he’s sick to get out of seeing me
so he can see her for Valentines Day.

I have to remind
myself that it’s a lie,
say stop stop stop.
And try to forget
this fake scenario that
feels so real.

I’ll go home
and build a fire,
put on the podcast
that feels like having friends
and go to sleep.