Chameleon

Chameleon Sep 17

Spider

When you live alone
you realize there is
no one else there to
**** the spider.
You have to do it.

Chameleon Sep 17

It started with a party bathroom.
You push a button and
music and disco lights
explode from the ceiling.
Drinks come in glass boots,
and bubbles spray
out of wooden boats.
Then it’s drinking in a
renovated church
run by lesbians.
A flight of delicious
craft beers.
The bathrooms have
free tampons and pads.
Now you’re stretched out
across the backseat
of his new truck
singing along to
classic country hits
on the way to the last stop.
This place only carries
6% or higher so
now you’re drunk.
You smoke a cigarette
and talk about your old job.
You blast more country
and take the long way home.
It’s a perfect Saturday night.

I know it’s unlike me to write
something positive.
But this was my fav day this summer.
Except for when I went kayaking

Chameleon Sep 10

Pretty girl

My ex FaceTimed me
from Alaska the other day.
Cheerful and
slightly drunk.
Telling me all about
his new adventure.
He saw me smiling
at him and he said,
“Such a pretty girl,
look at you.”
I bashfully rejected
the idea and he said
“Give yourself some credit.”

I agreed only to stop
him from continuing
but I wondered why
is it,
when after the relationship
is dead and gone,
do the men I once craved
attention like that from
finally dish it out so freely.

Chameleon Sep 9

Quiet boy

I like when we’re
cuddled up like puppies,
arms and legs draped
over the other.
I like when he reaches
for my hand and
guides me around
so I’m not on the outside
of the sidewalk
but continues holding it
while he smokes
with the other.
I watched him quietly fill up
two pages with different
drawings and I wondered
what inspired each one.
His Art is usually dark
and distorted,
or goofy like
The bean man.
A wild bean with arms and legs
that wears a bandana,
smokes cigarettes
and causes chaos.
I like petting his hair,
something he had to get used to
because “no other girl had
ever done that before.”
But he’s so cute,
and scruffy like a dog
that I can’t help myself.
I’m still learning how he
operates,
which is mostly in silence
but I’m starting
to understand that
the quiet can be comfortable too.

Chameleon Sep 9

Sunday

I realized I had been wrong
when I came in the door.
He was sat on the couch,
one ear bud in
quietly drawing in his
sketchbook.
He greeted me with a
“Hi pretty Paige”
and kissed me.
I pulled out my IPad and
we sat like that for awhile
until he looked at me
and said,
I missed you.
It caught me off guard
from convincing myself
he never thinks of me,
so I sheepishly said
I missed you too
and he kissed me on the forehead.
That’s when I knew
I had been wrong.
He’s an artist, he’s quiet.
He doesn’t say all that much
but I think he doesn’t
feel the need to.
He just shows it.
But I am a writer.
Words are like facts to me.
I need to hear and see the proof.
We continued to color
and draw in the quiet of his
living room,
until we walked to the gas station
to get cigarettes, a slurpee
and snacks.
He continued being affectionate,
and I tried my best to stay up late
with him.
He told me he had missed
hanging out with me like this,
and I told him I did too.
And I really had.

Chameleon Aug 29

Night off

I went to the bar by myself.
My favorite one that’s
right by the railroad tracks
and has a big red neon
light that shines the name
of the joint.
I had a shot of fireball
and a miller light
and wasted my money
on touch tunes.
No man,
just ones in my inbox.
About to finish this beer and
head home.
Just drunk enough,
to enjoy music and a
cigarette.
I love Wednesdays.

Chameleon Aug 23

Exposed

Once a man loses
interest in you,
you could stand
in front him naked
and he won’t even notice.