Chameleon

Chameleon Aug 19

As I’m laying on
the front porch fold out chair
I’m looking at the house
next door.
It’s beautiful and mature
under the full moon,
clouds racing by.
Looks comfortable and safe.
Warm.
I wonder if the
woman who
lives there ever sleeps on
the porch too,
to get away from
the man inside.

Chameleon Aug 19

Marble

I keep ending up
in this bed alone.
Squishing this stupid
marble he tossed at me
earlier,
and said
Keep it safe.
Its been rolling between
my fingers ever since.
But I can’t stop wondering
why,
why he’d give me this
with no intention behind it.
No intention.
The marble.
Or his word to me.

Chameleon Aug 14

Bathroom break

Sometimes you just
have to go cry in the bathroom
and wonder why you’re
not enough
and
feel such an intense
pain that only a hug
and love from one person
who isn’t there would solve,
and then go back to work.

Chameleon Aug 13

Self worth

I’m trying to remind
myself that he only
sparkles because I shine.
I look at him through
rose colored glasses,
and think all of his flaws
are cute.
But I am the firefly
that makes him glow,
and the sun that
peaks through after
a storm.
I was all of these things
before him,
now
and
always.

Chameleon Jul 22

Be quiet

I was busy filling my head
with all the reasons he will
never love me,
just letting that voice
control how I feel
when his name popped
up on my phone
and he said,
Hi pretty girl
I missed you this morning.

I smiled and spun in my chair
and told him I missed him too.
And I told my brain to shut up.

Chameleon Jul 11

Solitude

I’m just laying in my bed,
waiting to go see my
boyfriend.

I don’t want to talk
Not today.
Sometimes I don’t like
having a cellphone.
I don’t want to able
to be reached at any point.
Just let me be

Chameleon Jul 10

All mine

I have a nice man.

He tells me he misses me
every day,
and apologizes when he
gets too busy at work
to respond.
He randomly tells me
I’m pretty and
kisses me on the forehead.
He almost knocks me off
the bed at night
because he wants to be
close to me
and he comforts me when
I’m sad or scared.
He lets me know how
he feels
and what he’s doing
and checks to make sure
I know he really likes me.
Being with him is like
being wrapped in a warm
blanket in a cozy bed.
He is a safe, soft place to land
and he’s all mine.