Chameleon

Chameleon Mar 2024

Text

I could tell he had
softened.
His texts turned to
satin
as he said
I miss you.
There’s a first time
for everything
and this was
one of those moments.
I said I missed him too,
and he let me know
that made him feel good.
And then we were two people
smiling at the piece of
technology in our hands.

Chameleon Mar 2024

I won’t make it in

This morning I didn’t
wake him up.
I just gathered my things
and got dressed.
Before I left I looked around his house
because to be honest I’ve only seen
a few rooms.
There is ten years worth
of things from his life
all over.
His daughter’s bedroom filled
with toys and games
and I wondered how he was
able to afford all of that stuff.
Paintings of him and
his daughter made by his ex
wife still hang on the walls.
She was very talented.
A whiteboard of things to do
that maybe never got done
because of the divorce.

And me.

I felt so out of place,
I couldn’t see how I would fit
in here at all.
Every square inch of his life
is taken.
So I took a few hits of his bowl
and saw myself out.

Chameleon Mar 2024

Date

He referred to us hanging out
as a date.
I watch his tik tok videos
and I don’t know if he knows
that or not.
But he called me Aphrodite
and told a story about
something I said.
I am over here smiling
and kicking my feet
either way.
When I left his house
he put his arms around me
and kissed me,
thanking me for coming over.
I’ve been floating ever since.
Having a crush is so fun.

Chameleon Feb 2024

I have a crush

He thinks I’m pretty,
even though he fell asleep
when we were supposed to hangout.
I can let it slide this time
because he still had me
kicking my feet and smiling
like an idiot.
I read up on his horoscope
as most girls with a crush do,
and was pleased to find we are
very compatible.
I am going to be filled with
butterflies all day
because we rescheduled for tonight.

Chameleon Feb 2024

Circles

I drive in circles around our
hometown,
looking for you in every gas station
parking lot.
Luckily you’re never there.
I still get that feeling in my gut
sometimes because you haunt
me.
I still wonder if you ever miss me,
if you can’t get my face out of
the back of your head.
I know it’s for the best because
I don’t cry anymore.
In fact I breathe easier too.
But there are still
plenty of times
I still wish that maybe it
could have been you.

Chameleon Feb 2024

Puzzle

When I see two people
who are truly in love,
they fit like a complete
puzzle.
You can tell that they’re meant
to be.
They make sense,
they vibe the same.
I am unsure if he was my
missing piece.
I do believe you can lose
that if you’re not careful.
And we were not careful at all.
Which is why one might say
he wasn’t mine.
It should come naturally,
easy.
I don’t know if I have a missing piece.
Maybe I’m not missing anything
at all.

Chameleon Feb 2024

Sweatshirt

I still have his favorite
hooded sweatshirt.
I was meant to give it back
when I went to get my things.
But I couldn’t hand it over.
I left it unspoken in the
backseat of my car that day.
It’s all I have left.
The only thing that feels
like him.

I drove home from work
in tears tonight
and I saw that hoodie in my room
when I came in the door.

I held it tight against me
and sobbed into it.
It shouldn’t be here though.
Because neither is he.