My brain is so tricky
sometimes I feel like I don’t know her.
I was fine all day just resting after an all nighter,
until my boyfriend came home from work and wanted to lay down in bed.
I squeezed in beside him and suddenly couldn’t stop the tears that were soaking my pillow.
I sniffled quietly, not wanting him to know that I was randomly overcome with sadness,
and asked if he’d put his arm around me.
It wasn’t him or anyone or anything,
it’s just how depression is sometimes.

He’s mentioned before that I was a mess when we first met.
A fragile peach scone with a heart that was too heavy,
but luckily he is strong enough to help carry some of the weight.

I couldn’t see the stars through the ceiling of our apartment as we lay in a tent you set up in the living room.

But I could see them when I looked at you.

He asked if I’m happy,
and I thought how could I not be
as long as he’s beside me.

Last night my ex texted me.
Not because he was trying to rekindle something that died out long before we broke up, or maybe he was I don’t know.

But all I could think about was how earlier that day my boyfriend was tickling me on the floor, and how much I love laughing with him every day.
When he said I was a cute little dinosaur and put his hand on my cheek.  
And how I fell asleep on the couch with my head on his leg.
All I could think about was how each day is better than the one before and how he’s taught me so much about how relationships should be.
How HE gives me everything he couldn’t.

But I was friendly and did my best with small talk and said I hope things get better for him.

When I got home from work I waited for my boyfriend to wake up and when he sat down beside me I leaned over and hugged him.
Just so happy.