The fear that he will leave me just as easily as the last is excruciating.

This is just more weight added to my emotional baggage that I didn't want to carry.

He came over when I got off work and kissed me on the cheek.
He took me out to lunch and held my hand in Wal-Mart before buying me a pair of work out shoes.
I smoked my last cigarette in a pack this morning and have only been vaping since.
I fell asleep cuddled next to him on the couch and when I woke up we had ***.
For dinner he made me a "disgusting" smoothie with blueberries, strawberries, broccoli, kale, green tea, and a few other things I didn't recognize.
And then I went to work and kissed him before leaving him in my apartment.
It's so strangely nice and he's been such a good influence on me it feels like I'm watching someone else's life.
I am tired, but I think I'm actually happy

It was almost six in the morning,
and I lay in bed with my snoring dog at my feet.
I was trying to sleep after being awake for 24 hours but the acid was amplifying the rain outside and creating weird images behind my eyelids.
He knew I hadn't been to sleep since he came over the morning before so he let me have the bed to myself.
But I wished he was next to me, and I wondered if he had really just asked me to be his girlfriend.
So I pulled off the covers and shuffled out to the living room.
"What's up?" He asked sleepily, and sat up a bit off the couch.
I sat down on the edge of the cushion and said,
So I am your girlfriend right?
"Yes. Yeah, I was thinking that we kind of left that conversation open."
I smiled and said, okay good.
We talked for abit and then I kissed him and said I was going to try to sleep.
It worked this time and I dozed off thinking about how weird it is that
I have a boyfriend.

This will be hard for me, I didn't want him to leave because I was afraid that when he walked out the door he would change his mind or do what the last guy did and pretend I don't exist.
I'm afraid because every time I open up it always ends.
But he texted me first, he asked me to be his girlfriend so I'm going to try even though this is scary.

I had my first day where I didn't miss him.
I even started to question why I liked him so much in the first place.
I had my first day where if he had texted and begged for me back I wouldn't go.
I think I fell for the *******, the fake romance he displayed.
Now sitting down and having a deep talk makes me roll my eyes.
I don't want that anymore.
I'd rather have someone be brutally honest, and speak their mind all the time.
Stop being afraid to hurt my feelings, I'm not that breakable.
**** mystery, it's stupid.
It's rude to take so much of someone's time by making your life a riddle.
Get out from under the bridge you ******' troll.