They are taking me somewhere today
To the store to get those supplies
I promised I would never buy
My total only adding up to $23.45
If only I had the courage to actually die.

We need you to call someone right now
Do you have someone to call who can come get you?
No no no one at all.
I did.
I had someone.
Someone was supposed to be here.
Someone promised me.
They promised.
They’d be here.
They’d take care of me.
Please.
Please don’t bother anyone.
I’m fine.
Let me go.
I have no address to give you
I belong to no location
Everything I own is in there.
Please don’t touch my stuff.
That’s all that’s left of my home.
The last shreds of my sanity
Please don’t take it all away.
Today I woke up hopeful for a good day.

Do I tell her?
about the pills that I hide
the lighter in my pocket
the razor handles missing blades
my inability to look in the mirror
the words I write across my thighs
the bald spot in the back of my head

How do I tell her?
I have consumed insanity
And this is who we have become.

Secrets may be kept quite
But they echo loudly within those
That were harmed.

it’s not going to work is it?
all the times I dry the tears off my face
The ***** from my chin
The blood from my limbs
I fear I will lose the fight to stay alive
And all my efforts will be nothing more
Than drawing out the pain.

life goes stale
misery circles in
black and grays
replacing the vividness
smells wafting from the fridge  
i just know rotten milk awaits

The neighbor watches
As my face contorts in pain again
He waits to see what I reach for
The pain meds that don’t really work
Or a pillow to drown out my sobs
Sometimes I see his kids little hands
Peeking through the curtains
I wonder if they all wonder
What the hell is wrong with me.