It isn't okay to leave me where
you left me.
Act like I didn't care.
To disappear without a word,
leave me in the dark,
and stranded in a town full of people that always leaves me feeling lonely.
That was the last time I will ever get my heart broken by you again.
The last time I let you impact me.
Shake me. Change me.
If you don't want to talk,
then let's never talk again.
I want these to be the last words I ever write about your miserable existence.
You weren't the same anyways.
I didn't change. You did.
It's easy to hate you,
so that's what I'll do.
Because loving you is a waste of a dreamer's time.

Why does ***** go hand in hand
with that ache in the pit of your
stomach.
It's like it's filling up
the empty space someone left
there.
I guess I just feel sick
because I don't understand
what happened.
What did I do?

I've had this whole other life
without you in it for so long now,
which is something I once thought
I could never do.
But I missed you.
I don't blame you for the silence
that fell between us for over 365 days.
I don't think I'd want to talk to me either.
I never thought about how you must feel.
I guess it's because I never knew how you felt, about me.
What a strange time in our lives huh?
Now, it feels like nothing but a really really good dream.
I want you to be happy,
because I am.
Not all the time, but happiness
usually seems to find me.
And yes, he is a big part of that.
I know I will be heartbroken and sick
all over again when some girl blows through the doors and is everything you once thought I was,
but I have no right.
I guess I just want it all.
But, I've still never come up with the right words that would properly express how deeply sorry I will be for the rest of my time.

I was easy and soft
and submissive
and kind

I didn't laugh too loud
I didn't drink too much
I didn't have a lot to say

as long as you felt okay,
I felt okay

And you wanted to love me so bad,
You would play your favorite songs
with me in your arms
just to convince yourself
I mattered

You wanted to drown in me,
because you knew I'd never
leave you drowning alone,
and you'd been left to fight
for air so many times
without help

But I am no anchor,
I am not heavy enough
to pull anyone down
so deep
that they can feel
the waves crashing
in their veins

I have never been
an anchor,

People do not
fight for their lives
just to be held down
inside of me,

I'm not enough
to leave you breathless,

I'm not enough to make your
stomach float up into your skull,

I have never been
an anchor,

People come to dip
their feet,

from time to time,

but I am not the one
they dive into

I want to call him
and tell him that I wish
he was here,
to cuddle me to sleep
and tell me that everything is
going to be fine.
Tomorrow and the day after that.
I want to tell him that I can't
stop pulling out my hair,
and that my anxiety is sky rocketing.
I want to tell him that I miss him
and I love you.
But I won't.
Because I have to try to go to
sleep on my own.