when i'm next to you in your bed and i'm not even tired
it's usually no problem getting to sleep
when i'm ******* exhausted on my couch by myself,
i toss and turn for hours

this is *******

It started nibbling on my spinal chord
not long ago
each day the bites get wider
tossing me into throws of
this all means nothing
or looking like my dad
while staring at the mirror hanging above the sink, It lingers

when I'm on my feet for too long
they turn red
making it hard for me to
stand for anything.
maybe my bed has a selfish plot
to keep me from ever leaving
with its sheets full of envy
forcing me to repeat defining moments
every time my mind deems it fit
to dream

that's the sad and tragic thing about people who feel compelled to write things down -
we spend a lifetime trying to figure out the right way to explain what it felt like to look into his ******* eyes

and all he did was look through mine

You don't get it
The depth of emotion
Deep, vast valleys
Of joy and wonder
Deep, dark holes
Of **** and anxiety
The flux can't be held
In your hand
Or in a tightly capped bottle
It's endless and boundless
Timeless and zoneless
You can't describe it
Although I've been trying
My whole life

I'd call you hoping
To see things differently
And maybe wishing
Things never got this bad
But life is filled with filler
A lot of things don't mean much
Sometimes these times can be a killer
And I don't plan on being your crutch

These days I've found the pep
In my step that I've been searching for
For my whole life and I can't help
The things you do and I won't try anymore

Like that I'm rudely interrupted
Pulled from a fantastic fever dream
My mind's been bent and corrupted
Don't expect you to know what I mean
All I wanted was some compassion
Some care never hurt no one
Guess I'm looking in the wrong direction
Maybe I'm just staring too hard at the Sun

But I like the way it feels
When I'm bathed in all it's glory
My skin tingles on the steering wheel
White lights tell a gory story
When you're mourning in the morning

I found you between touches on screens
through swiping on pocket machines
and I met you in the long shadow of sunset
you smoked a cigar and I a cigarette

We put the stars in our eyes
and found ufos and Russian spies
and gave ourselves to the not knowing
but knowing this wanting to keep going

So at one am we kissed at Chevron
with a smirking cashier looking on
and I did so without a second thought
because, honestly, how could I not?