Leave me
I give you permission
To exit my life, stage right
Don't look back please
Just kiss my left cheek
Tell me you care
You'll always be there
And walk away for good
But don't be there anyway
Dont' call me on my birthday
Don't find small things to say
Just don't think about me
You can ask my friends how I am
But don't check to see for yourself
It's a trap we don't want to fall into... again
Shed a few tears for me
For the thoughts of what we could be
Those memories we'll never get the chance to see
The end of our "everlasting" destiny
Just go, my love
Walk out my heart and slam the door behind you
Hurt me with your goodbye
It's okay, I won't hate you
Just let us go
But not just 'cause I told you so

Two years and counting,
I know it’ll never be the same,
I can’t bring myself to answer your calls, far less for saying your name.

The incident remains unresolved,
In a little box buried somewhere in the abyss of my mind
Like some sort of twisted memory, one that I have resolved to hide.

The thing is, I was never angry at you,
Never cursed you to the depths of your personal hell,
Never so disgusted at the words you spat at me,
I shall cast no blame for me retreating into my shell.

Because it still hurts when I think about it,
When I think about how you thought I didn't care,
When you accused me of not loving you,
When you blamed me for not being there.

And it ***** how it felt like I was forbidden to laugh,
To smile during one of the most exciting times in my life,
Did you know I pushed everything aside for you?
Just to walk with you during your time of strife?

It breaks my heart to know it wasn't enough,
A pain I may actually take to my grave,
My failure to help you may never leave me
And for that I may never be the same.

I still feel guilty, for actions unbeknownst to me.
But I had bitten off more than I can chew,
Couldn't you see, even in my silence?
I was always there, and I would make sacrifices for you?

And I can’t seem to get any reassurance,
From others who tell me that you are wrong
I just keep thinking that I failed you,
Yes, even after so long.

My fault was probably letting you become overly dependent,
And like a fool I was unable to see:
Taking on your battles with such fervor and determination
Exposed my greatest vulnerability.

So I’m here with a festering wound
While you seem to be doing alright,
But believe me when I say, I’m truly happy that you’re doing okay
I’m glad that you've found the light.

Though you apologized on numerous occasions,
So eager to make us right.
I can’t go back there,
I can’t give you back this knife.

Because right now, though I’m happy,
I’ll always be a little sad,
I’ll always worry if I’m making the same mistake,
And second-guessing myself is driving me mad.

You make me want to try a little bit harder,
But give everything up at the same time.
It’s like I can’t find my bearings anymore,
Too long have I imprisoned myself for this supposed crime.

So you see, in the end
My silence was never about you.
It was an attempt to fix myself,
It was an attempt to figure out what I must do.

To find some way to release this guilt,
Just as I have released you,
For both our benefits, to find some way to forgive myself,
Just as I have forgiven you.

I can’t go back to being ‘normal’
Because this is something I’m unlikely to ever forget.
But don’t feel like my actions are writhed in anger
Don’t feel like every memory is tainted with regret.

We can’t meet now, perhaps sometime in the future we will,
But I feel this is for the best,
I have to learn from this experience, I have to move on
And accept the fact that I've put this relationship to rest.

I pray for your continued contentment,
And always the best of health.
But now it’s time I take care of me,
And hope that I can somehow restore my strength.

For all the good times gone before and all the lessons learnt,
I thank you with all my heart, but now I’m ready to go.
I know I’ll find freedom, however long it takes,
Somewhere along this road.

Until then,
Sincerely,
*Me.

I'm an adult synonymous with actress.
Which means I will always be kind.
I will smile, I will laugh, I will play along.
And I'll assure you that I'm fine.

While a fiery passion seeks to destroy you,
I will sit pleasantly and smile.
I will nod along at your stupid jokes
And smile openly while thinking you're vile.

I won't even flinch when you embrace me
But instead I'll squeeze twice as hard.
Because an actress of my caliber
Knows your hand and every card.

And while forgiveness stands and beckons
I will smile and stab it's righteous form.
And wash away the silliness of it's being
Then my hatred cloak I'll adorn.

I'll never be impressed by your efforts
Your chances of redemption have long passed.
Your lying trilogy cannot be undone
Too many mistakes have been amassed.

My family will always forgive you though.
But I'll never be fooled again.
And since you really want to play this charade
Better grab a notebook and a pen.

Because I can act infinitely better
And I'll smile till the very end.
Get my Oscar ready too
Because this isn't going to mend.

I'll never forget the day
And I'll never really forgive
How happiness was ripped away
For you to selfishly live.

I'll always truly hate you.
And this will always be an act.


Because I'm an adult.
Synonymous with actress.

The bell struck thirteen
and all the mourners cried,
The cats shrunk to the corner
and the dogs howled through the night.
“The poets have run out,”
the young town crier screams,
“they’ve run out of their rhyme,
and they’re bursting at the seams!”
And in the midst of the coffin dropping
and the young children scattering,
The crying girl looks in her mirror,
And drops it to the floor, smashing, clattering.

The bell struck fourteen
and all the town mourned,
The town’s workers ran out
and the meeting was adjourned.
“The Sun, it is falling,”
yells the pretty young girl,
“Get out of your houses now!”
And the mystery begins to unfurl.
In amongst the premature fallen,
A bare boy’s skin blisters,
And all around him she’s not there,
The only crying ones are his sisters.

The bell struck fifteen,
And the town was left deserted,
Save a young girl lying, and her brother
whose gaze was averted.
“All that live must die,”
A sound from a speaker on a van,
“Passing through nature to eternity.”
Live while you must and die whilst you can.
The stars have fallen from the sky,
And they’re crashing to the ground,
Lust the only left emotion,
Lying, waiting to be found.