my eyelids feel as if they are being pulled down,
there is a constant noise that comes from
below my floorboards like a hollow idea and it's screaming to be fed,
i hear it every hour or so,
now you're falling down the stairs
and i watch you beautifully pirouette before
i put my hands out to catch you.
why do i feel so guilty for indulgence when i am alive only this one time?
i am moving and the dark red trees on the mountain look transparent
and they are in the shape of a maple leaf. i never know what i am seeing
but i am sure that
somebody needs me. how can anyone love me
when i'm not even completely there?
i am out of my mind but occasionally i will dawdle back in
and feel the invisible edges. it must be nice.

i live for the moments
that you clasp my hands
tight like you're worried
i might float away.
the times your lips can't
contain your love when
you're close to mine.
the ways you find to hold
me when i'm too far
away to be held.
the things you do to
remind me that your heart
is my home.
the places we will soon
declare as ours like our
interlocked fingers are explorers.
i'm alive with you.

Not so long ago
I wandered through a forest
Thinking to myself what it'd be like to be loved
Until a tall, tanned boy
With empty black eyes
Approached me
and in the most seductive tone he asked
"Why don't you come with me?"
I hadn't had company in some time,
so
I followed him
He made my heart feel lighter
And my sorrow not so deep
My only folly was loving him too much,
when he hadn't an ounce of love in his soul
So, he left me
And I was alone

Not so long ago,
I wandered through a now lonely forest,
Full of memories of my mystery boy who had broken my heart
He'd taken my sunshine
He left me nothing but darkness
and emptiness in my heart
It hurt to laugh
It hurt to breathe
It hurt to live
and I couldn't escape it.

That is, until
a strange little boy with eyes bluer than the ocean
approached me and said in the sweetest tone
"take my hand, I'll guide you and take you to the sunshine"
So I grasped his rough hand,
and we wandered in the dark
Time had passed
And he made my laugh flow more
He provided me comfort
But still something was missing

Not so long ago,
I grew tired of the blue eyed boy
he was far too angry
and especially overbearing
he loved me too much.
and I didn't love him enough.
So I broke this boys heart,
Leaving him alone
His reacted with anger,
Spitting venom into my veins
leaving me lifeless

Not so long ago
A sweet little angel,
who was so very familiar
wandered over to me,
and he didn't say a word.
I looked at his eyes,
dark yet welcoming
and an enticing smile upon his angelic face.
He took my hand and helped me up
he ****** up the venom from my body
he kissed all of my wounds
he didn't save me from this forest,
but he joined me and kept me company
he painted the forest with vibrant colors
and filled it with the sound of his laughter
He made me a home out of this forest,
so I made him a home in my heart

I'm so scared to have my heart broken
I remember the pain I once felt
It overtook my being,
dropped weights in my stomach
sent tsunamis to my eyes
and knives into my windpipe
Then I think about how much I love you,
and it'll hurt that much more
Please don't break my fragile heart

You slithered in at an awful time
I was lonely
My hands shook
Begging to be touched
So you took advantage,
You found your way into my mouth
Then slowly down to my trembling legs
You slithered right in
and stole my innocence

He makes my lips hurt
and my heart race
oh my god, I'm in love

i can see it clearly.
us two, on the sail
because the world
is far too easy
to get lost in
(just one more wave).

we sit in the same
color palette and
sell riddles like
venetians. and
as promised
i'll show you my world
but i'm sure you're sick
of hearing about yourself.

My sadness provides me with comfort
Sick, isn't it?
It's just something that's always been there
Consistency
That's comforting to me
And as much as I want to feel the sunshine on my cheeks
And have flowers bloom within my mind
Part of me is so scared to leave my sadness behind

It was late September
Rain poured
and I drunkenly stumbled into your arms
You spoke of how I smelt of whiskey,
And how I forgot my shoes
You laughed at my slurred words
And drunken honesty
But that was the night we spat out the truth
"I love you"